#can this be understood with all the asterisks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luxcuriousao3 · 1 month ago

Text

Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter Three)

Summary: He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove. Word Count: 3176 Warnings: still no smut, flashback to semi-graphic noncon which can be skipped, the section is in italics with the middle and end marked by a singe asterisk (the triple asterisk denotes a POV change as usual) Notes: hope the few of you who read this enjoy it as much as I do XD AO3, Masterlist

Ghost’s little dove seemed determined to get herself killed.

He hadn’t felt so afraid since he’d been bitten, when he saw her run into the cabin without so much as peeking inside first. And then her scream—God, her scream. For once, he was glad he couldn’t sleep, because he knew it would haunt his nightmares if he did.

The infected that was trying to eat her was dispatched easily, though not before it got unacceptably close to taking a bite out of her pretty face. He immediately crouched down to check on her, thinking of nothing but making sure there were no bites hidden beneath her clothes. He didn’t consider how she would feel about him touching her—and he didn’t consider how he would feel, either.

She was so warm.

He could feel her body heat even through her long sleeves and his gloves, and it was addicting. He wanted to pull her close and press her against him, to let her warmth chase away the cold that lingered in his very bones ever since his undeath. And he almost did just that—but then she shrieked like a banshee and kicked him, clearly trying to get away. It hadn’t hurt, he couldn’t feel pain anymore, after all, but he’d let go instantly anyway, backing away and trying to apologize. All that came out was a wet gurgling noise though, so he stopped, just silently looking down at her where she still sat on the floor, staring up at him with so much fear and confusion that he would have given anything to be able to comfort her.

Johnny would know what to do, he thought, and once again, he couldn't help but wonder just who this Johnny was. It was the only name he seemed to recall, from before. And it was only after he’d found his little dove that he'd remembered it, remembered the name that went with the disjointed sense memories of bright blue eyes, a deep Scottish burr, and the scent of clean soap.

“You’re real. You’re real, and you’re not eating me, and you’re— you’re protecting me. How? Why?”

His dove’s words brought him back to the present, giving him a spark of hope. She finally understood that he wasn’t going to hurt her, that he was keeping her safe. He groaned quietly in agreement, to let her know she was right and not just imagining things, but he was unable to answer her questions. He didn’t know how he had managed to hold onto pieces of himself, after his death. All he knew was that he was one bloody stubborn bastard, always had been, and always would be. He liked to think that that had something to do with him managing to fight off the virus, at least a little bit.

As for why he was protecting her… well, he was lonely. And he was fading, succumbing more to his instincts with every passing day in isolation. He wanted human companionship so fucking badly, and he could already tell that it was helping him remain himself. He felt more present, more alive in this moment than he had since the day he’d been bitten.

“You... Do you understand me?” His dove whispered after a moment. She sounded like she knew the answer, but he groaned softly in response anyway, awkwardly jerking his head up and down in a nod. His jaw wobbled grotesquely as he did, and he reached up to steady it, not wanting to disgust her any more than he already had, not when they were finally making progress.

She sucked in a sharp breath, big brown eyes growing impossibly wider. She looked shell shocked, and Ghost didn’t know what to do to change that. He’d never gotten this far with a human, before…

“Are there more like you?” She asked haltingly, after a moment of tense, heavy silence. “That— that are— whatever you are?”

Ghost carefully shrugged his shoulders, but at the same time, he held his jaw in place, and then jerked his head to the left, to the right, and then back to the left. He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove.

“Oh,” she whispered, swallowing thickly. It drew his attention to the pale, bruised column of her throat, and his clouded eyes zeroed in on her pulse point. He could hear the thrum of her heartbeat, just underneath her soft looking skin. Her blood would taste thick and sweet on his tongue, he knew, and it would be so warm, as warm as she was. He sniffed deeply, groaning softly at her scent, and he felt drool pool in his mouth and leak out, down his chin. That, along with his dove’s small flinch, snapped him out of it. He quickly wiped the drool away, feeling embarrassed.

Slowly, she got to her feet, wincing as she stood up straight. She tried to dust off the dirt on her clothes, only to look distinctly horrified when she realized that black, congealed blood from the zombie that had attacked her now stained the stiff, pale pink fabric. She gagged when she accidentally touched it, and for a second, he worried she would throw up. She couldn’t afford to lose the little food left in her stomach, not when he knew for a fact she hadn’t eaten since before he found her.

He grumbled quietly, bringing her attention back to him, and then slowly moved towards the door, so as not to startle her. He picked up the corpse as he did, bringing it outside and moving it out of sight. He returned quickly, only to find her peeking out the door, watching for him. If he could have, he would have smiled. It was clear that at least part of her didn’t want him to go.

That part didn’t stop her from retreating rapidly as he approached, still maintaining a two metre distance from him at all times. He closed the door behind him as he re-entered the small cabin, then moved past her, deeper inside. He checked the single, tiny bedroom, but it was clear, just like he’d expected. He did find a thick quilt folded neatly over the end of the bed, and he picked it up, bringing it back to his dove.

She was in the miniature kitchen area, now, all the low hanging cabinets flung open to reveal bare, dusty shelves. She was currently trying to climb onto the tiny sliver of counter space to reach the higher ones, and Ghost growled disapprovingly. She startled, whipping around to look at him in fright. He held out the blanket as a peace offering, simultaneously moving closer. After a moment of hesitation, she snatched it from his stiff fingers and then backed away from him once more as she wrapped it around her shivering form.

Ghost opened the cabinet that his dove had been reaching for, and let out another growl—pleased, this time—when he found a solitary can of what he assumed to be beans, based on the faded picture on the label. He couldn’t read the words on it, and the reminder of how thoroughly the virus had destroyed so much of him made the hollow space in his chest ache faintly.

Once again, he offered the supplies to his little dove, and this time, she accepted it a little more graciously, a little less like she expected it to be a trap. Her fingers brushed against the fabric of his gloves, and he suddenly wished that he wasn’t wearing them so he could feel her warm skin against his own.

“Thank you.”

The words were so quiet, that without the virus’s enhanced hearing, he doubted he would have caught them. But he did, and his foggy eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. She didn’t notice how happy she’d made him, though, too busy pulling back the tab of the can and scooping beans directly into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure at the taste—clearly, she was even more hungry than he’d thought, if a can of cold beans caused that reaction—and a low sound grumbled deep in Ghost’s chest as a very human emotion stirred inside him in response. He stood there in shock for a moment as he watched her suck her fingers clean, before it faded into self disgust and he jerked his gaze away, walking back to the door to stand watch, like a good dead guard dog. Because that was all he could ever offer her, his sweet little dove. That was all he should ever want. To protect her. Not to fuck her. He was a revolting, decaying monster—his outside finally matched his insides. She would never have desired a beast like him even before, and she certainly wouldn’t now. He was depraved for even thinking about it. Perhaps the virus had twisted him in more ways than he thought…

***

Lelia devoured the can of cold beans like it was the most delicious meal she’d ever tasted—and she grew up eating at michelin star restaurants regularly. But she hadn’t eaten in days, and she was starving. Andrew had always taken half her rations, claiming she didn’t need them anyway if she was going to stay thin and pretty for him. Lelia had stopped getting her period soon after, and at first, she’d been terrified that he’d finally managed to get her pregnant. But the test she’d managed to get her hands on had come back negative, and no other telltale symptoms had cropped up. She’d finally worked up the courage to ask one of the other women on the base about it, and she’d given her such a pitying look before telling her it was probably due to starvation.

That was when Lelia had realized that how Andrew treated her was no secret, to the other people on the base. He must have realized it soon after, too, because that was when he’d started trading her body to the soldiers for bigger rations and longer shower times.

That was all she had been worth. A little extra food and a few more minutes of hot water…

It had been only a month since the dead started walking, but already, Lelia wondered if those who died in the initial chaos were the real lucky ones.

She’d thought her life was difficult before, as Andrew’s wife, when she’d been living on a large estate, constantly draped in the finest jewels and dresses, sleeping in the most comfortable beds, and being waited on hand and foot by a host of servants. Yes, Andrew had been cruel, the bruises on her body and the constant ache between her thighs were testament to that. And no, she hadn’t had a lick of freedom, not even allowed her own cell phone, or to leave the estate without his permission. But that was nothing compared to the utter hell her life had become.

She and Andrew now slept on a bed hard as a rock, and the food they were given to eat was limited and flavorless, if not outright disgusting. They had no household staff to do all their menial chores for them, and their lives had been stripped of all the conveniences and luxuries they’d both always enjoyed. Lelia had struggled greatly to adapt, but Andrew had taken things much harder.

He was angry all the time now, and he had nothing to do other than take his frustrations out on her by either fucking her or beating her. Nothing she did could calm him down anymore, all the tricks she’d learned to do so were now worse than useless. Even still, he held up appearances whenever they were around other survivors. Which was why she hadn’t been expecting him to do this.

They stood outside the Sergeants’ barracks. There were three of them, she believed, but she’d never interacted with any of them, as Andrew didn’t like her talking to other people, especially men. He had been trying to become friends with them, as he often complained to her about the privileges the soldiers got, and how he wanted in. He hadn’t been successful, though, with his father’s money now unable to compensate for his lack of charm.

So Lelia was quite confused as to why they were here, and why Andrew had such a grim but determined look on his face.

Nonetheless, she played the part of dutiful wife, her hand in Andrew's as she waited patiently while he knocked on the door. When it opened, showing all three sergeants inside, Andrew turned to her, cupping her face in his hands, and looked at her with… not remorse, but maybe regret. Like he didn’t feel bad about what was about to happen, but wished it hadn’t gotten to this point.

“Tonight, the good Sergeants here are your husbands,” he told her, words heavy with meaning. “Do you understand?”

Lelia did. Lelia understood very well. But she shook her head anyway, tears pooling in her eyes.

“I’ve been good,” she whispered, heartbroken. “Please, Andy, I’ve been good!”

“So be good again tonight,” her husband said, voice hard, before kissing her forehead and letting her go. He turned to the soldiers, looking unhappy but resigned. “Use condoms, and be careful around her stomach. I’ve been trying to get her pregnant.”

Lelia wanted to scream as the soldier closest to her took her arm in his big, meaty hand and dragged her inside the room. But she said nothing. She couldn’t make her mouth work, because she wasn’t inside her body. She watched as the soldiers took her all night long, one after the other—even all at the same time at one point—but she didn’t feel a thing. Not until the next morning, when she returned to herself. Her whole body was in terrible pain. She was on the cold floor, naked and covered in dried semen, as the sergeants snored next to her in their bunks. Lelia got up slowly, gathering her clothes and carefully putting them back on. Then, she left, wandering the halls with a pronounced limp and a dazed expression on her face until she ran into one of the other soldiers, an Officer. He grimaced at the sight of her, gently taking her elbow and leading her to one of the toilets. He wet a rag and gave it to her, letting her clean the semen off her face—she’d not even realized there was any on it—before bringing her back to Andrew, who was passed out in their bed, an empty flask next to him.

It would not be the last time her husband let the soldiers use her.

Lelia sucked in a shuddery breath as she set the empty can down on the tiny, two person table in the kitchenette, shoving the memory away viciously. She immediately grimaced and wrinkled her nose, casting a glance at her new undead… companion. He smelled awful, like rot and decay and death. The beans she’d just eaten almost came right back up, and she covered her mouth and nose, trying to hide her impolite reaction. She’d smelled him before, of course, but now that she actually had something in her stomach, it was all too apparent just how difficult being around him was going to be.

Would she stay around him? And when had he become a him and not an it, anyway?

Probably around the time you realized there was something still left in there of the person he used to be, a voice inside her head responded to her unspoken question. The thought made her sad, and she felt a wave of sympathy for her zombie. She couldn’t imagine what his existence was like, stuck in a body that was falling apart, feared by the only people who could understand him, and unable to talk to them, to tell them he meant no harm…

“What’s your name?” She asked him quietly, almost taking a step forward before she thought better of it. He still smelled, and she still needed her meal to stay down. Getting closer would only tempt fate more than she already was by remaining in the same room as him.

Her zombie looked at her slowly, and though there was no expression on his masked face—she was unsure he could even make one, with his broken jaw and missing lips—she still got the distinct impression that she’d surprised him. She immediately felt bad. He’d saved her life twice now, three times if she counted the food and blanket, and she was just now asking his name. She should’ve done so the moment she realized he was helping her.

Her zombie lifted one arm up to his neck, grasping something and then pulling it up over his head before holding it out to her. A silver chain with a set of dog tags dangled from his gloved fist, and Lelia inhaled deeply through her mouth before walking forward, holding her breath as she accepted them from him. She retreated quickly, trying to suck in air as subtly as she could while she wiped the grime from the dog tags with a corner of the tatty, checkered cloth that was laid across the kitchen table.

“Riley, Simon A.,” she read aloud. Beneath that was his rank information—Lieutenant. She looked up at her zombie, and gave him a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Lieutenant Riley.”

Her zombie grunted, jerking his head back and forth hard. His jaw quivered from the force of it. Confused, and a little bit afraid, Lelia backtracked.

“I–I’m sorry, do you not want to be called that?” She asked nervously. All the soldiers back on the base, or at least the ones she talked to (meaning the ones her husband lent her to) insisted they be called by their proper rank. Though whenever they used her, they demanded she call them Sir… Lelia swallowed, feeling the beans threaten to come back up for an entirely different reason. She wouldn’t call him Sir. She wouldn't.

Her zombie approached her, seemingly agitated, and Lelia flinched, taking a step back. He stopped, watching her for a moment, but didn't come any closer. He just pointed at his dog tags again, and Lelia looked back down at them, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his name and date of birth. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw the year he was born—1981, he was the same age as her mother—but she didn’t let herself get distracted. She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment, before trying again.

“You want me to call you Simon?” She half guessed, half begged. When he nodded, she let out a relieved sigh, her small smile returning. “Okay… let's try this again, then. It’s nice to meet you, Simon.”

72 notes · View notes

david-talks-sw · 10 months ago

Note

I was watching the Clone Wars featurette about the Holocron arc and Dave talks about the scene where Bane threatens to kill Ahsoka. He says "we're seeing a dark side of Anakin, and in a very clear illustration of why Jedi should not have attachments, we see that attachment get exploited." So clearly at what point in time he understood the whole attachment thing. What happened?

Unlike Karen Traviss, I think Dave Filoni actually understands what "attachment" means, in Star Wars. Apparently, it's the Star Wars theme that he and George spoke the most about.

"The biggest area of the Force and the Jedi [that] George and I have gotten into discussing the whole deal with attachments. And, arguably, that's what Anakin whole life is hinged on, is this - like you've mentioned - he has a lot of attachments to Artoo and how how right or wrong is that? Is it that the Jedi have made themselves dispassionate, that they are actually deceived by the Sith and they fall apart?" - Dave Filoni, Rebel Force Radio, 2012

What I've noticed is that, while understanding the meaning of attachment... Filoni doesn't seem to agree that the Prequel Jedi embody the concept of compassion.

He has acknowledged sometimes that "attachment is bad" is the theme of Anakin's story (but question if it's really so bad, unlike Lucas who says it's understandable but bad) but disagrees that the Prequel Jedi represent the obvious counter-theme, "compassion is good."

If you read what Filoni says, he argues that:

The Jedi have lost their way, taken the "rid yourself of attachment" rule and pushed it to an extreme where they've rid themselves of any empathy and thus compassion. They've focused so much on being selfless that they've forgotten how to love.

All except for Qui-Gon, who is the only one that truly knows how to love without getting attached, to love selflessly.

And personally, that strikes me as a coping headcanon, a way of reconciling the theme and feeling the Jedi like Mace, Ki-Adi, even Yoda and Obi-Wan are stoic, unlikable and too different from Luke.

Sure, they're not perfect, but nowhere in the films is the Jedi's stance on love framed as "bad" by the narrative. The narrative agrees with their philosophy, and George echoes it.

In fact, among 772 collected George Lucas quotes, I've never seen him state that theme while adding the asterisk that "of course, the Jedi of the Prequels have forgotten how to be compassionate, except for Qui-Gon who was the true Jedi."

And of course he doesn't do that. Because doesn't that muddy the waters so much?

Supposing Qui-Gon truly is the only character that embodies the concept of "compassion"... doesn't killing him off in the first film confuse a targeted audience of children?

Bearing in mind that the Prequels are about how greed makes people and institutions become the very thing they swear to destroy, and Star Wars as a whole is about being selfless instead of selfish:

In one corner, we have Anakin and the Senate showing what you're not supposed to do.

In the other, you got Padmé, Shmi and the Jedi, showing you what you should do instead.

Simple. I can see a kid getting this (and I did). But according to Filoni, that second point is incorrect. Instead, it's:

In the other, we have... Qui-Gon, who is one of the first film's four protagonists that dies at the end, without openly stating anything about the trilogy's theme. Theoretically, there's the Jedi who state and address the theme, but they don't themselves embody it so they don't count. So really... in this corner we have nobody (?)

That seems overly complex, a whole lotta hoops to jump through. Doesn't make sense. But hey, good luck learning the lesson, kids.

So yeah, Dave Filoni gets what attachment means. He just doesn't think it's as bad as Lucas' films frame it as, and disagrees on the Jedi narratively embodying the concept of compassion.

And I think it's coping. It's connecting non-existent dots, Always Sunny-style, to justify not liking characters that weren't meant to be developed much, due to their calm, collected nature and secondary/tertiary role in the story.

Coping and coming up with headcanons are what any irritated Star Wars fan does when they're confronted with something they're unable to make sense of.

“I care because I passionately believe that important stories ought to make sense.” As well you should—and when a story does not, you apply that passion to finding a way to make it make sense. [...] When a rational and inquisitive mind is confronted by the engaging yet irrational, it often responds in this manner. This process is not usually appreciated by those undergoing it; the most common reaction is a deep irritation. But isn’t that always how pearls are formed?” - Don DeBrandt, Star Wars on Trial, 2006

Unless they choose to make documentaries and click-baity YouTube video where they decide to spew hate and get angry pointlessly. Which I'd argue is still worse.

#Dave Filoni #George Lucas #Jedi Order #attachment #QnA

162 notes · View notes

neuroticbookworm · 2 months ago

Text

Love in the Big City Part 2: Go Yeong and Umma

I was chased around, threatened, bullied and emotionally manipulated for months to write this piece, so @lurkingshan, this one's for you. *please release my family*

When I was reading the book, in Part 1, I remember being frustrated with Young as a narrator because of how standoffish he seemed with his descriptions of the people in his life (except Jaehee – Mi Ae in the show). I wanted to understand the emotional distance I felt in his words. And I got my answer in Part 2, where the relationship with his Umma was laid bare for us to see. The structure of this section was so smart, for it established the roots of his behavior in his childhood with Umma, and linked it to how it shaped the relationship he currently had with Hyung. Seeing it come to life on screen in the episodes this week was a treat to watch.

It becomes evident that Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma is complicated as soon as we see them interact on screen. She is steadfastly religious, someone who believes that miracles can cure things that humans sometimes deem incurable, like cancer. We could easily infer from what we’ve seen of Go Yeong so far that she would not approve of his life.

Before I get into how her opinions and actions affect and influence Go Yeong, I wanna fully break down some of the objective facts we know about her:

She divorced her husband after he stepped out of their marriage and didn’t even have the courage to tell her about his infidelity

She is a single mother

She is an entrepreneur (in fact, we see her working from her bed in the hospital in multiple scenes)

She is religious and believes in the power of God

She is proud of her son

She loves her son

The last two points come with the biggest asterisks, because if she loves and feels pride for her son, how could she make him feel so alone? And now I shall try to explore this woman’s psyche to the best of my abilities, with a little bit of help from my personal experiences and therapy sessions I’ve paid money for over the years.

When we try to picture a homophobic parent, the image that our brain usually conjures up is often one-dimensional. (Note: This is NOT AN EXCUSE. I’m not trying to justify her actions. I am simply trying to understand why she did the things she did, by placing the context of the events of her life around them.) It is easier to process our emotions re: bad parents who hurt their children when we view their actions as simple. “They could’ve chosen not to do it and yet they did, so I hate them” is the conclusion that is the easiest to arrive at. That doesn’t make it untrue, but oftentimes, it is not the whole truth. Life is rarely, if ever, that simple, and our parents can truly love us while also rejecting fundamental parts of who we are, and never reconcile the two.

We see in the show the circumstances under which Yeom Eun Suk (Umma) finds out about her husband’s affair. She and little Go Yeong observe him from the sidelines, hidden, and see him smile like he had never done in all the time he had spent with them. We see Eun Suk feeling crushed by the implication that whatever love and happiness she thought she had had in her life with her husband was all potentially a farce. The fact that she chose to separate from him implies a couple of things: 1. She had strength and resourcefulness to provide for her son as a single mother in a restrictive patriarchal society like South Korea, and 2. She understood that staying in the unhappy marriage would only make her bitter and would affect her son more negatively than him growing up with a single parent.

She was brave enough to make those choices, and yet was still bound by her sense of propriety molded by society, and her faith. I’ve had a dynamic relationship with faith throughout my life, but I understood pretty quickly that questioning one’s faith is a particularly painful experience. Faith is supposed to be the solace one could turn to during trying times. When one is forced by circumstance to question their faith, it leaves them unmoored on the inside and further isolated on the outside. Eun Suk was already isolated to a certain degree by her divorce and her single motherhood. From what we learned in the book, there’s a history of cancer diagnoses in her family, so I would posit that she had been in Go Yeong’s shoes before, caring for her terminally ill parents in the past. Which is additional trauma from caregiving in her young adulthood that would’ve shaped her life. So I understand Eun Suk not questioning her faith when it was shaken.

She rebuilt her life and community by pursuing her faith—attending church, making friends who shared those values, and idolizing the Christian heteronormative lifestyle even after it failed her. She followed the rules dictated by her faith and community with utmost devotion, including building an entire business around heteronormative romance, in part because she had already transgressed by breaking up her own family and needed to prove she was not bucking that ideal or rejecting the church’s teachings with her choices. We see her take care of her appearance over and over when she is in the hospital after her first diagnosis and surgery, and it is yet another sign of her conformity and dedication to presenting a certain picture of her life. I understand why she would see her teenage son kissing a boy as a blemish on “a life deemed beautiful by God” and panic. I understand why she would think a psychiatric facility would help her son, and that it was her duty to try. (Note: once again, I am not justifying her actions, I am trying to understand them. Conversion therapy is deplorable and my heart goes out to everyone who has been subjected to it, including Go Yeong.) Eun Suk’s faith saved her by giving her purpose and community after her husband’s betrayal, but it also told her that her son, in his queerness, is fundamentally flawed. And like most people in this world, she chose not to rethink her entire life, and instead chose to believe that it is her duty to save her son from homosexuality and guide him to righteousness via the same path that saved her own life, ultimately traumatizing him. Hello, intergenerational trauma, my old friend!

@lurkingshan has already discussed the kdrama-fication of Part 2, with the increased intensity of Go Yeong’s romance with Hyung/Yeong Su. Expanding on that, I think the show’s depiction of Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma rounded out the sharp edges of Young’s cynical tone from the book. We see her enjoy spending time with him. We see her joke around with him. We see her read her child with uncanny precision that mothers seem to have when she asked him “Why are you sulking like a child?”, when he was, in fact, sulking like a child. We see her observe and deduce that her son is probably seeing someone, and that someone is likely a man. Which then leads to her asking “Must I meet them?” when Go Yeong suggests a meeting with Yeong Su in the park. She runs from direct confrontation of her son’s sexuality, and yet diligently copies Bible verses, hoping for a miracle.

Eun Suk sees her son’s queerness as her own failure, and Go Yeong, in turn, sees his righteous anger towards his Umma, as his. She is so proud of him that she saves newspaper clippings of his achievements, but she is also ashamed that she couldn’t “save” him. She loves him within the confines of her faith. It’s not enough for Go Yeong, but it’s the best she can do; their relationship remains at an impossible impasse.

Yeong Su’s presence in this section is interesting because in addition to his primary role of serving as the broody, tortured creative who swept Go Yeong up in a whirlwind romance, he also serves as a parallel to Umma’s traits. When Yeong Su exclaims that “someone like [Go Yeong] couldn’t even imagine [his struggles]”, it rang eerily close to Umma telling her son “Don’t try too hard. Everyone must go sometimes”. The expression of disdain is the same, but in Yeong Su it reads hollow, as a pretentious assumption, while with Umma it registers as tired disappointment that Go Yeong would’ve surely felt as heavy as a boulder.

After finishing the book, I found myself going back to a particular paragraph:

...[I] was old enough to know that my mother did not exist solely to hinder my existence but was a person in her own right who had fought hard making her way through life. She just happened to be unlucky. In other words, the fact that our relationship had been so terrible was as natural as cancer or fungus or the rotation of our planet or sunspots. I knew this, but the feeling that she was the source of all my problems kept nagging at me. I kicked myself for thinking this about a dying person, someone who was only skin and bones at this point, but the thought refused to leave my mind.

It took me a long time to reach the acceptance Sang Young Park has put in words here. The fact that my trauma is an unfortunate byproduct of the life my parents had lived, and was not premeditated or fuelled by hate, was a hard and unfair pill to swallow. I want to grab Go Yeong and tell him that it is okay if he can’t ever forgive his Umma. Time will wash over his hurt and let him love her, even without the apology he deserves from his Umma. And I hope that, one day, he can learn to love the people in his life differently than the love he received from his mother.

#love in the big city #litbc book club #kdrama #korean bl

53 notes · View notes

pigdemonart · 6 months ago

Note

Do you ship Fox and Krystal?? Because they were my childhood 🥺 baby's first otp yknow

hahah I do! But with a BIG asterisk. Putting it under cut for INSANE STAR FOX RAMBLINGS

* <- the big asterisk: I ship them, but like I also am okay with them not being end-game. I think their relationship could be so much bigger than that!! OK so, let me explain. When I was a kiddo I shipped them! I was a baby furry and I loooooved that there was a playable girl character in Star Fox FINALLY (though, you know that was for only a split second bhnjmk) But now, I just think the way they were both written in the games was a little boring and one-note. Also just uncomfortable at times, since her first appearance Krystal was made out to be weird kinda-fetishy, sex-appeal and not much else. I don't think that's a controversial statement though LOL Later games I don't much feel for their chemistry either, though they have cute moments here and there. The more interesting parts about them is when they're not seeing eye-to-eye and they're apart from each other, honestly. So in my drawings I was picturing something less canon and more re-imagined. Krystal is the lone survivor of her race and she's on Sauria trying to find the truth about what happened to her home planet while also aiding the local wildlife. I don't imagine the dinosaurs speaking much in my version, but Krystal is telepathic and an empath, she can read their minds well enough to talk to them and be understood. I imagine also she knows about Andross, but doesn't believe he's the reason her planet was destroyed (there's disagreements on if that is canon or not, and I think its pretty silly to blame every bad thing on the one guy.) I think it would be fun if Krystal (never being encased in a crystal because that plot was dumb) meets Fox on Sauria early on in the events of Star Fox Adventures. I mean it would have been GREAT if Krystal was his partner, instead of Tricky. Though in the drawings I included Tricky too, cuz why not? I like the dynamic of Krystal being kind towards all living creatures and Fox having to learn to keep up with that. Nature never seemed like his -thing- ya know. See I like the idea of their personalities crashing a lot at first. They are from different cultures and backgrounds, their understanding of Lylat history is different -- Fox being from Corneria means he views the war against Andross as a necessary thing, something Andross brought on himself and eventually paid for with his life, not to mention the death of his father weighs heavily on him forever. Krystal disagrees, being a firm believer that war is never the answer and the price of peace for some came at the cost of the death of others, including her own people. Like...DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THEY WOULDN'T MIX, they are just too different and too caught up in their own life missions to really get the other's intentions. But then in spite of all that, they become friends. I think my ver. of Krystal while looking down on Fox somewhat for being a mercenary would also be intrigued by him. She would want to know how exactly this guy and his team defeated Andross, and from there know more stories about his life. Likewise, Fox being stuck on ground on Sauria with Krystal I think would open his eyes a bit more (lmao touch some grass for once) and they would at least bond with each other while also helping each other stay alive. I think they realize on their own that they each bring out good things about one another... at least at first.

In the games Krystal is pretty much assimilated into Star Fox and we don't really see how that happens or how she really feels about it. We just know she eventually breaks up with Fox and cuts ties with the rest of them, something that broke my heart when I was a kid, but I'm not super against or in disagreement with. Personally I just think her sort of beliefs and upbringing would have never lent itself well to the line of work Star Fox does, at least not so easily. It came off to me like she was a young woman caught up in a romance that felt right at first and then became bitter and unfulfilling once reality set in. And in my eyes, I think its more interesting if she becomes disillusioned with Star Fox and the Cornerian Defense Force because, put simply, Krystal isn't pro-military. And that's sad...but it's pretty raw, too. And I love my stupid children's game about furries in space being full of dark themes!! Nintendo already set the domino pieces up, I just feel like we never got to see them all come tumbling down. We were teased with possible ideas that the Cornerian army and General Pepper were morally grey and that Andross had good intentions mixed in with every totalitarian thing he did. Krystal even is the one to defend Andross in one scene in Command, which is fucking crazyyyyyyyy!!! but it doesn't GO ANYWHERE -tears hair out- But anyways, as you can see Fox X Krystal drives me insane. /pos There isn't really an ending I love or subscribe to the most from Star Fox Command. That game really just threw a lot of the fans for a loop with all the drama and "bad," not super fulfilling ends to beloved characters. Though, that being said, I lowkey like the Kursed/Krazoa arc for Krystal, I think it's like an interesting path for a character like her. Like yeah, turn this woman into a hardened butch bounty hunter!!!! why NOT!!! She'd get under his skin better than Wolf ever could!!! Plus, how often does a pairing go from friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-strangers?? Fox can't recognize the love of his life anymore because she's been fundamentally changed by the world HE introduced her to. Now they both gotta live with that with Sauria being nothing but a distant memory. It's tragic, it's messy, it can go in so many different directions and I just think these furries should yell at each other for my amusement. anyways that's all. :] i'm actually normal about them tee hee.

#star fox #fox mccloud #krystal #anon #ask the pig

34 notes · View notes

pluckyredhead · 1 year ago

Note

i really wanna know your ideal dc publishing cause seriously they could be doing so much and instead choose the absolute worst trashy choices

Lol thank you for indulging me, anon. I have thought about this EXTENSIVELY so sorry not sorry for the tusnami of opinions you have unleashed.

Before I get into the list, a few points to explain my approach:

ONGOINGS. I am a firm believer in the importance of ongoing series. There's nothing wrong with a miniseries but you can't get any forward momentum or character development with them because things keep getting reset to their baseline. Get really strong teams on your ongoings and let them develop their stories for years at a time. That's where all the legendary runs come from.

To that end, I am proposing a list of 30 books, which is a little more than 7 per week, which is roughly what DC publishes now (not including things like Sandman, Looney Tunes, etc.). They can add on as many minis as they want but will need fewer since so many more characters are accounted for with ongoings.

I am a strong believer in backup features - more value for your dollar and double the amount of characters included - so you'll see a lot of those.

I tried to balance what I personally think would be the most holistic representation of the DCU with what I believe will sell, so you're still going to see a lot of Bats. It should be understood that books without Bats are not going to be treated like throwaways like they sometimes are now. They are going to get top tier creators with long, sustained runs, just like Bruce always gets.

It will not be a publishing slate of all straight white guys from the 30s-60s.

Books with an asterisk* mean they will be kid-friendly. Not exclusively for kids, but appealing and accessible to young readers, the way Young Justice and its members' books were in the 90s. They can still include ongoing plots and queer characters and serious topics! They just shouldn't be relentlessly grim.

OKAY THE BOOKS!

Super Books:

Superman*: The lead Superman title, with a backup featuring starring Jon.

Action Comics*: Focuses more on the Superfamily as a whole, though the plot can dovetail and cross over with the main Superman book. (This is basically what's happening now.) Backup feature rotates between Kon, John Henry, Natasha, Kenan, Lois, and Jimmy.

Supergirl*: Why did I give Kara her own book and not Kon or Jon? Because a) DC needs more female-led books and b) I want to. The primary audience for this book is women who watched the CW show, or girls who have outgrown TTGo! and DC Super Hero Girls, NOT ADULT MEN. (Optional: Kon or Natasha backup feature.)

Bat Books:

Batman: Like the Super books, this would be the central title and focus on Bruce. Backup feature can rotate between the nine billion Gotham characters who need a home.

Detective Comics: Focuses more on mysteries/the family. Another rotating backup feature. NOTE: These backup features CANNOT star a character with their own book (Bruce, Dick, Damian, Selina, or Harley).

Nightwing: Dick sells. ;)

Robin*: Starring Damian, Tim gets a team book further down.

Batwoman: Perhaps we could try letting a queer woman write this for once? Revolutionary, I know.

Catwoman: Because she fucking rules.

Harley Quinn: Because she fucking sells.

Birds of Prey: I prefer a classic Babs/Dinah/Helena lineup but I'm flexible.

Batgirls*: If it’s too messy to have Babs in BoP and this, take her out and add Harper.

Red Hood and the Outlaws: Imagine if this book was good! In my universe, it will be.

Solo Books:

Wonder Woman

Flash: This will star Wally. Optional backup rotates between Jay, Bart, Ace, and Avery. Barry can show up sometimes I guess.

Green Lantern: Starring Hal, John, or Kyle. Whoever is the lead CANNOT also be on the Justice League.

Green Lantern Corps: Okay yes technically this is a team book. Shhh. Guy should always be on this book since he does better in an ensemble. The plot should dovetail loosely with the main GL book with an annual crossover but you don't have to read both if you don't want to. I am flexible about how to fit all the Earth GLs in (including Simon and Jessica), whether that's backup features or just including them in the GLC ensemble, but all six should always have a publishing home. Jo should get as many prestige graphic novels as N. K. Jemisin and Jamal Campbell care to bless us with.

Aquaman: Jackson backup. Please let him go back to being Aqualad and stop making everyone grow up so fast.

Green Arrow: This book is currently perfect, no notes.

Blue Beetle*: Starring Jaime, though Ted may show up to be annoying if he would like. A Booster backup is permissible.

Vixen: If they have a Webtoon they should have a comic for $ too.

Zatanna: See above.

...I'm torn between Shazam!* or Stargirl* here. I feel like they both kind of fizzled? I guess it depends on which book gets the better pitch.

Team Books:

Justice League: I mostly don't care who is on this but if it's a bunch of white guys plus Wonder Woman and either John Stewart or Cyborg as tokens, AGAIN, DC gets shut down permanently. I don't make the rules.

Justice Society: This is also not allowed to be only old white guys. I know that's harder with the JSA. I don't care.

Titans: I'm going to be honest, I'm not convinced the OG/New Teen Titans can star in a decent book anymore, since they haven't done so in two decades. But I will give them one more try. They can call themselves the Outsiders instead if that helps.

Young Justice*: They also maybe need a new name because they are all legal adults, but this is Tim's book. I'm highly skeptical of success here as well but I think the right creative team could make something really soapy and New Adult and queer work. Please keep in mind that there are nine trillion characters in the DCU who are roughly Tim's age to draw from; the "Core Four" (ugh I hate that term so much) can all be members but they are not the only members. (Cassie cannot be the only girl and it cannot be all white.)

Teen Titans*: Damian's team! I vote for characters like Emiko, Ace, and Jackson here, but I'm flexible. THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS BOOK IS MIDDLE SCHOOLERS, NOT PEOPLE WHO GREW UP ON WOLFMAN/PEREZ. Jesus, DC.

Suicide Squad: I truly do not care about this book but we need to do something to appease the edgelords.

The New Gods: I'm thinking EPIC, I'm thinking KIRBY, I'm thinking SIMONSON. Everyone talks in a serif font and it should be impossible to explain out loud with human words. It's what Kirby would want.

So there it is, there's my pitch. Again, this doesn't cover minis (Elongated Man miniseries WHEN), event books, etc., but I think it gets most of the key players on the board!

(And yes, I know I left the Legion out. I'm sorry. But not very sorry. They can cameo in Kara's book.)

#comics #meta

81 notes · View notes

woodenfawn · 2 years ago

Text

The Rem Infodump.

The one where i rant about rem and subaru's dynamic and why it's special but i dont think a lot of people really understand it!

This was written a while ago and i may have some things wrong, and it's also good to note I don't think subaru and rem are unnhealthy for each other in the sense that they shouldn't be together (whether romantic or platonic), i just mean the situations they were in forced them to act in certain ways!

I think a lot of people who are bigger re zero fans (who also understand what the story is about) shy away from rem as a character because she's the one "only fake fans who watch the anime for the waifus" like, but while she's not my favorite character i want to bring her a little more appreciation from this side of the fandom!!

new-to-tumblr post spam 3/4 complete, i'll slow down after this XD

I tried tagging with spoilers but just in case it didn't work: spoilers ahead!

So. The rem thing. Ive talked about it vaguely before but never went into detail cause there were people that could be spoiled. The whole point of rems attraction to subaru is not because of harem wish fulfillment. The author clearly stated he hates harems. Subaru does love both rem and emilia, but he has solidly chosen emilia and that's the end of that. It doesn't matter what romantic feelings he could have towards rem because it's already doomed. They both know it. The relationship they form episode 12 and beyond is not meant to be healthy for either of them!! Rem has been saved from her mindset of needing to atone for what she thought of her sister, but her self esteem is still AWFUL which is why she attaches herself to a "hero" instead of learning to recognize her own self worth. Subaru saved her from some things but he's not a hero and he's not exactly the person rem says he is. Partially, but not all of it. It's kind of a mutual decision of theirs to lie to each other and themselves because they need it to cope with themselves. Subaru needs to be a hero for rem or he could never step out of his depressive state. Rem needs a hero in subaru or she cannot feel loved and understood. It's not good for either of them but they don't have an alternative. NOTICE: When subaru rants about how awful he is and rem responds with her famous speech, she doesn't actually contradict much of what he says. They love each other and need each other but it's bad for the both of them. Rem lost her memories because the witches (later correction: it's the bishops) targeted her for her sin, and subaru killing himself over rem is not the action of a person in a healthy mindset. Rem's development was cut short and kind of fridging, its frustrating, but it's not basic waifu stuff and it is meant to be tragic!!!! This is also all a mirror to how subaru and emilia are!

Because while subaru constantly talks about needing to save emilia, he also calls her the main heroine. I used to think about rem as a yesman, but she does many a thing behind subaru's back for his sake the exact way he did to emilia. He learns more about the consequences of his actions that way. oh, it hurts. and oh boy the speech is so misunderstood. That is rem's promise to love him "unconditionally", without acknowledging his flaws, and it helped. It's absolutely what he needed to hear. But it wasn't good. but also, for other reasons, it mirrors another little speech.... subaru's season 2 confession to emilia. Where she can't believe he'd love her, and where he starts to list off things he's done for her and the ways she's made it hard for him. And then tells her, he still loves her, because that's who she is and he wouldn't want it any other way. Which could be taken as another niceguy rant (like a repeat of the season 1 fight) but it's NOT!! Because this is what Emilia needed to hear, because she is not the kind of person who can accept praise without a drawback or asterisk. If she heard all that, all she'd see is another pedestal to fill. this is the healthier version of the rem speech, where she can accept she's flawed and realize she's still loved. Both despite, but also for it. And... it's still not perfect. Because the characters are still growing and learning!!! They are young adults with so many problems and a whole life ahead of them and they still need to learn!!! The upsides and downsides of unconditional love,,,, and is it more unconditional if you love them "despite flaws" or "with flaws" or without seeing any? And is any of that healthy? How can it be good? How can it be bad? Maybe it can be both at once, maybe love isnt perfect!!! a lot of this is hidden in subtext, and the framing of rem's speech may even trick you cause it's triumphant but no there's so much complexity to why they say every single thing they say!!!

Subaru is a character who struggles with love for himself and with love for others, he doesn't know how to make others happy and gets caught in a loop of thinking the only way he can possibly be loved is if he's constantly putting his life on the line for others, without asking anything of them in return. which ends up with him breaking and needing support, and not knowing how to ask, which is why he yells at emilia in season 1 (doesn't help that his deepest trauma is something he is magically obligated not to share for fear of death). His relationship with emilia in season 1 is both very sweet and very unhealthy. he's just a guy with a crush on a girl who's far too good for him and he's trying to work for it but the basis for it is not good- he's attached himself to the first kind person in this new world that he knows and due to "return by death" he's far more invested in her than she is in him- she will never know everything they went through together. and then.... he finds rem. someone who didn't trust him. someone who killed him multiple times throughout the mansion arc, but someone who could understand his loneliness because she was also lonely, and wow- he managed to save her, too! and she doesn't know everything about what he's gone through, but she knows how to read his emotions like no one else can. so they... fall into a codependency. like said before, they can't live without each other, but not everything they do is good for each other. subaru, while gladly taking the role that emilia has in this new relationship, learns more about how she feels. with rem, he learns more about what it means to love, and they both know that it won't last. they didn't expect it to end so soon, though. but oh well, subaru does not have the option to stop. the nature of his powers means dying is pointless, and he has to press on anyways. and he does!!! He meets more people he thinks he can trust. some betray him, but some stick with him. Otto (my sweet boy!!!) is notable!

and now he knows more about love, about trust, about how to treat people, and how he should expect to be treated. so many things. keeping in mind it's been a while since i've watched re zero so i probably don't even have everything there is to say. but like.... then in the end, he can approach emilia with his true emotions. and he can tell her about it in a way she'll understand. and he knows he can do it without being a burden this time. he's become a better person. he's not sure if he'll be rejected, but that's not the point anymore! The point is he loves her and wants the best for her and wants her to know and hopes, no matter the outcome, that she'll be happy to know she's not alone! and the honesty, that's what his speech has over rem's. he's not putting her on a pedestal, he's not using her for the sake of his own self esteem anymore, he just wants to love!

------

Extra note on the end (talk about suicidal thinking, be warned!!!)

something I've talked about but don't have saved writing for, a bit more about rem!

I do also think Rem is suicidal. i think she and Subaru recognized each other in that mindset without ever really talking about it. To me, this relationship is two suicidal people trying to prop each other up so the other will keep living, and knowing that if they really give up the other will too. That's why the season 2 development was so punishing for Subaru. I think that Rem's terrible self esteem and feeling of needing to atone for """"ruining her sister's life"""" contributed to it, though i don't know if that's all of it. She also makes multiple comments that are extremely concerning, like how Subaru is her "reason to die", how when she was ready to die fighting the white whale she said she felt like this was the moment she was made for, and biggest of all!! When she was telling her hypothetical story of how she and Subaru would run away together, she planned it all up to the death "I'd like to die first and I'd like my family to be with me", and to me it felt like she was *trying to think of a death that would make her life worth living*. Her motivation to live is following people she can die for, and that's, that's concerning. i hope her character arc properly follows through on what's happening in her head (i don't know how arc 7 goes yet)

...and i also think that Beatrice is the first time Subaru's had to confront his mindset head-on, because Beatrice would refuse to dance around the subject. The lesson he takes from Rem carries over to both Emilia and Beatrice in healthier ways, and I think that's incredibly important!!!!

------

thank you for reading!

#re:zero #re zero #natsuki subaru #subaru natsuki #rem rezero #rem #re zero spoilers #re:zero spoilers

75 notes · View notes

chemicallyyourss · 11 months ago

Text

Hey guys,

I’m new here and sort of wanted to introduce myself and ask for some advice/suggestions.

I’m somewhat new to tumblr- I’ve had accounts before, but never really fully understood how to work all the features, and still don’t, lol. So if there’s maybe a guide or something somewhere that would be uber helpful and appreciated for me!

I used to write quite a lot- both fanfiction-sorts and original works- mainly on Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, and AO3 (yes I know the distrust that comes with Wattpad users lol, but I was 14). I have always mainly written for The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer- my absolute favorite book series of all time and my comfort series as well- as well as some other fandoms like funny enough BBC Sherlock and Hamilton, and I had quite a lot that I wrote for The Lunar Chronicles. I’m really wanting to get back into the flow of writing and see about reposting my old works onto here in a master list and also working on some new ones, again both fanfiction and original. I’m also wanting to get more into drawing and such- fan art and other things. I never drew that much of fanart other than some sketches and designs and bookmarks that I mostly kept to myself, but I’d love to start making my own so that I can work more towards drawing specifically what I want to see, as I’m such a perfectionist and there’s not that much The Lunar Chronicles fanart especially for my favorite couple. I do do several forms of arts and crafts like crocheting, knitting, pottery, art, etc, and I especially did good with photography and realistic drawings and charcoal drawings, and I’d love to incorporate that and also get better at other types.

So I was looking into devices that could help me out and make it easier to do these things. I don’t really like writing on my phone, as the keyboard is so small and I like a wider view and such. I used to write on an iPad, but that was waaaay back in 2014 or so. It didn’t give me all the features I’d liked, but it was enough to do my main bit of writing. I’m not that informed about technology and such so I’ve been trying to look into what products may be best for what I want, like an iPad and keyboard, a MacBook, etc. I’m not that well off so I can’t necessarily just drop a thousand or so dollars on stuff, especially if it doesn’t work best for me. If anyone can respond or even message me with some ideas and resources and information as to what would be most beneficial all around for this sort of project, I would be so appreciative. Thank you so much!

**you can skip down to the other two asterisks if you don’t want to read all about me or get bored lol, please read below the bottom asterisks at the end though**

I guess I’d like to say a bit about myself as well. I know I don’t have my page strictly shown as a “The Lunar Chronicles” fan account, but that’s pretty much what it is, plus some poetry, quotes, landscapes, art, Adventure Time stuff, cats, and memes. You pretty much might as well view me as a Lunar Chronicles fan account lol. It sucks because I figure I may have a hard time getting seen and interacted with since I’m not broadly showing that I’m absolutely obsessed with the series, but I really want to get the word out while still maintaining my individuality on my page.

I started reading The Lunar Chronicles when Cress was coming out, I think right after Scarlet had been released. I was preeeetty young back then, which is a little embarrassing because back then most of the fans were in their 20’s and I was a teenager, but hopefully more people my age have found the series now. I won’t say how old I was back then, but I will say I’m 21 now lol. You can do the math yourself if you want.

My OTP is Kaider, Kai and Cinder. I legitimately adore them, like ridiculously so. They make me so giddy honestly lol. I wrote mainly for their ship, but rereading the series for maybe the 20th time, I am starting to adore Jacin and Winter as well. I just think Kai and Cinder are so underrated and overlooked a lot of the time. I loved writing for them and I’m an absolute sucker for their fanfictions, so if you find any or write any I haven’t already checked out, hit me up and I’ll devour it lol. And Id love to share my current works and hopefully future works! I was relatively young when I wrote them all, but I’ve always written quite a bit and been more talented at that more than anything else- not to brag, it’s just I’m mostly a one trick pony and that’s the trick lol.

So, I’m a 21 year old female from the USA, and have lived in a very small town for all of my life so far, but I’m trying to move to a midsize city with my husband soon. I’ve been married since May 2023, and I’ve been with my husband since 2019. We’ve known each other vaguely since middle school, but really started speaking maybe 2 months before we started dating lol. I have 3 pet cats, 2 calicos and a male tuxedo, all food names. I absolutely adore them lol. I used to take care of a feral colony, and got them all spayed and neutered and most rehomed to good families. I’m very passionate about TNR and animal rescue, and the fight against cat overpopulation. I’m a huge cat person. I do have a dog that I’m currently long term taking care of for a relative for the last year and a half, but none of my own.

I grew up a huge book nerd and was a gifted kid until about highschool, when I sort of burnt out and also started coming under some heavy struggles with mental health, stress, and issues at home. I grew up with a father suffering multiple issues including vascular dementia, which he’s now in the late stages of and is mostly bedridden. He’s a huge sensitive subject for me. I took care of him a bit growing up and my life was pretty much anything but ordinary and it was very stressful. I had to do a lot of things kids shouldn’t have to. We also struggled a lot with 2 disabled parents, so as soon as I was old enough, I got a job and started relying solely on my own income. I mostly worked 2 jobs in highschool.

My childhood is a whole wild story I could go on forever about and I’d be more than happy to if ever asked, but I’ll pretty well leave it at that for now.

I ended up joining a college program while still in high school to practice and study Culinary Arts. I then entered college with a major in Culinary Arts with a focus in Baking and Pastry Arts, and I also studied business and was working for a degree in Home Science Education. I wanted to teach culinary classes, probably in a highschool, and maybe have a cafe of some sort. Eventually I did drop out of college with no degree so far but quite a few certifications. I started to struggle with my mental health and physical health a lot, and I was very stressed and my father had declined drastically and I just couldn’t take it at the moment.

I worked in several fiends, including Food Service, Healthcare, Opticianry, Management, etcetera. I currently work in a hospital as part of Registration, but I really want to work towards a career in Human Resources, and maybe finishing my Culinary education.

Like I said above, I’m very passionate about cats and TNR, and I have supported tons of TNR programs and tried my best to help people out with resources and such so they can spay/neuter their pets and keep animals and stray/feral animals safe. I’m very against kill shelters and euthanasia. I’d love to either open a rescue or Cat Cafe of sorts maybe, or at least volunteer/work at one, and I’m currently trying to get involved in CASA work, as the struggle with my goddaughter and the rough custody battle against one absent parent was a lot and I really want to help out more kids like that.

I was actually raised Amish/Mennonite and converted out, which is funny. I always get tons of questions about that so feel free if you’re wondering. I speak English obviously, but I’m also semi-fluent in Spanish and I know just a little of Pennsylvania dutch, which is my areas dialect of Amish/Mennonite language (I’m not in/from Pennsylvania but we call it that). My husband and I are not Amish/Mennonite, and my husband has never been.

I identify as a cisgender queer woman, and I am diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and MDD, and have always struggled with eating disorders. I’m very big on mental health advocating, as well as general welfare and health. I grew up without much healthcare and it’s been hard working to cover my bases, and I finally was diagnosed in 2021, the same year I was able to start taking care of myself without being held back. I also have some physical illness issues, including heart issues and kidney issues. The kidney issues were furthered from my mental health issues and consequences of long episodes and dark, sick times. I was extremely sick for a very long time but I’ve gotten a lot better, even though I do still have flare ups and occasional issues. I’m a pescatarian, for many reasons, including my eating issues, my love for animals, and namely my sister showing me a slaughter documentary when I was a toddler. I never really liked the taste anyways so it’s easy for me. I eat any seafood, eggs, and dairy, although dairy does make me bloat so I avoid it usually. I’m a coffee and caffeine snob and used to be a barista so I’m properly addicted and have a drink bar at my house for coffee, energy drink refreshers, and mixed alcoholic drinks. I support 3rd party politics, namely the Green Party.

I guess I’ll sort of wrap this up but going into what I like- my favorite color is black- haha- my favorite book series is The Lunar Chronicles as I said and my OTP is Kaider from that series, I like some other series like the Unwind series by Neal Shusterman, the original Sherlock Holmes series, and others, I love The Walking Dead series and I love Rich and Michonnes relationship from the tv show and Daryl and Carols relationship as well, I haven’t gotten to read all the comics but I’m working on it, and I’ve working through all the sister shows and spinoffs, my favorite movie/show genre is horror especially psychological horror. I love all of Jordan Peele’s movies and a lot of A24 horror movies. I never got to watch many classic or cult favorite movies and shows so I’ve been trying to work through them all. I watched Orange Is The New Black and adored it. I’d say my favorite shows so far are tied between BBC Sherlock (my comfort show) The Walking Dead and Adventure Time, which are both very personal to me. I don’t exactly have a favorite book genre, but I guess it would have to be dystopian/romance and comedy. Comedy anything is always good lol. I like quite a lot of music, mainly Classic Rock, Grunge, Rap, Trap Metal, Pop Rock, Underground, Alternative, Indie, and others. I was a semi theatre kid- semi because my school didn’t have drama or theatre and I couldn’t afford to go see many plays lol. I loved Hamilton, Heathers, Falsettos, Dear Evan Hanson, and others. I was a part of choir but I’m not too confident in my voice lol. I used to write a lot of fanfiction and original stuff as I said, and I also wrote and read poetry. My favorite poets were Charles Bukowski, Emily Dickinson, Robert M Drake, and Sylvia Plath. My favorite authors would probably be Marissa Meyer (though I haven’t read her other works other than TLC yet) and Neal Shusterman. Their writing style really appeals to me and I write somewhat similarly. I’d say my favorite bands are Queen, The Beatles, Hozier, SuicideBoys, and Rainbow Kitten Surprise. My favorite song of all time is Hey Jude.

I do have a tattoo, currently only one, but I’m planning more, one to commemorate my father and one to reference Adventure Time, and some for my cats. I currently have a geometrical and floral pattern on my sternum. I want more floral pieces as well besides the specific pieces I mentioned. I have several ear and cartilage piercings and I’m not planning on any body piercings besides my nose.

I am generally a big advocate for peace, equality, kindness, etcetera, and I mean that wholeheartedly. It takes a whole lot to get me messy and/or violent or mean. I’m very supportive and understanding and accepting of all things- besides legitimately morally wrong things that I don’t even want to name here. I’ll just say I’m lgbt+ supporting (and a member), BLM supporting, race issue awareness supporter, accepting and understanding of all genders sexualities religions backgrounds disabilities mental health issues etc, sexual assault and abuse awareness supporter and a victim, a mental and physical health advocate, against euthanasia and for TNR, am working towards HR work to better help the workforce and also working towards child advocacy and animal rights.

Aaaalllrighty, I think that’s more than enough. Thank you if you read much of any of that, feel free to inbox me or ask me anything, and please PLEASE if you have advice about the products I would need for writing and drawing please let me know!! I really want to get back into it and share my works.

Thank you!

Cat gif for tax (jammin)

#kaider #lunar chronicles #the lunar chronicles #my writing #writing #fanart #fanfiction #fanfic #drawing #artwork #new to tumblr #looking for friends #looking for advice #writing tools #drawing tools #about myself #introduction #introductory post #blog intro

7 notes · View notes

spicykaraage · 1 year ago

Text

Kunimitsu Tezuka Tenigo Episodes - Story Translation

Asterisks next to Tezuka means he’s smiling. [Improvement Level 1 - Episode 1]

Kikumaru: Tezuka~! We have today off, but do you still plan on doing voluntary training?

Tezuka: I was, yes…

Kikumaru: How about you cancel it and come hiking with the other members!?

Tezuka: Hiking… you mean up the mountains nearby?

Kikumaru: Yeah, yeah. It’d be a great way to take a breather while training your legs and feet too, dontcha think?

Tezuka:* …Yes. You do make a good point there.

Kikumaru: Alright! I’ve already got the OK from everyone else! And since you’re on board too, that makes all of us!

Oishi: Eiji, what’d Tezuka say?

Kikumaru: Oh, Oishi~! You have Fuji and Shorty with you, too. Tezuka said he’ll come~!

Tezuka: Right. I think it’d be good since we can relax and train during it.

Ryoma: ‘Kay, so we’re all in. What should we bring?

Tezuka: Staying hydrated is necessary. Each of you make sure to bring enough sports drinks.

Kikumaru: Then, there’s food! I think we should bring lunch, don’t you?

Fuji: Oh, you’re right. Since it’ll be around that time once we make it to the top.

Tezuka:* I’ll make onigiri…

Kikumaru: That sounds good~! I wanna eat karaage~! And sausages, too!

Ryoma: I think I’ll add grilled fish to the mix.

Fuji: I could make tamagoyaki and bring it along.

Kikumaru: Oh, this is gonna be great! Looks like we’re gonna have the standard menu for a sports festival~

Ryoma: We can use the kitchen, right?

Kikumaru: Yup! C’mon, let’s go!

Oishi: Haha… it’s starting to sound more like a picnic than hiking.

Tezuka:* Well, it’s fine. It’s a nice change from the usual training I put my mind to.

Tezuka: Taking the time to stretch out your wings is necessary now and again.

Oishi: Right. Especially for you, Tezuka, since you always do voluntary training even on your days off.

Oishi: I know Eiji and everyone else is glad that we’re able to go out together like this.

Tezuka:* …I know. I’ll make a conscious effort to have more occasions like these from now on.

[Improvement Level 1 - Episode 2]

Kaidoh: Huhh? Momoshiro, you asshole, don’t just cut in front of me when you see me walkin’ here!

Momoshiro: Huh? You’re the one that got in the way!

—

Tezuka: …

Kawamura: Ughh… jeez. They’re fighting again.

Inui: This trip was meant for us to unwind. Probability that those two will fight when they’re not in a situation where they should cooperate, such as matches: 100%.

Kawamura: Fuji and Eiji have already gone ahead of us. Echizen, too.

Inui: It appeared they were having a pleasant discussion about the plants. Echizen even had a squirrel with him.

Kawamura: Whoa, he had a squirrel? I wish I could’ve seen it…

Momoshiro: HEY, WHAT’D I JUST SAY!? DON’T JUST WALK IN FRONT OF ME!

Kaidoh: YOU’RE THE ONE THAT DID IT TO ME, YOU IDIOT!

Kawamura: Well, I don’t think anything will come near us with how loud they’re being.

Tezuka: Pay attention when you’re on a mountain, you two!

Momoshiro: !!

Kaidoh: Captain Tezuka…

Tezuka: Distracting each other and not paying attention to your surroundings can be fatal on a mountain. You should know better!

Tezuka: For starters, Kaidoh, you didn’t even see what was going on around you during the Red vs. White competition.

Kaidoh: Ughh… I’m sorry…

Tezuka: And you, Momoshiro.

Tezuka: While you’re busy needlessly distracting yourself, those three have already started having lunch at the mountain hut ahead.

Momoshiro: …Okay, I’m sorry.

Tezuka: Hiking is just like life and tennis. It’s important to keep a good eye on the path and go steadily. Keep that in mind.

Momoshiro: Right!

Kaidoh: Understood!

Momoshiro: …Man, this is just like practice.

Kaidoh: Sh-Shut up!

Kawamura: Haha… Well, anyhow, let’s have fun instead of fighting. Tezuka makes a good point.

Tezuka: …Right. Go up steadily with each step and take in the nature around you.

Tezuka: If there is anything to be gained from this, then it would be the meaning of doing this hike.

Tezuka: Remember to enrich your spirit, and don’t let your guards down!

[Improvement Level 1 - Episode 3]

Tezuka: …What a magnificent view.

Kikumaru: Mmm, for real! It’s great a view~

Fuji: It was worth the effort to hike up here. It’s such a spectacular view…

Kawamura: We all made it up here safely. That’s probably another reason why it feels so accomplishing.

Oishi: Yeah. It feels extra special since we’re viewing it all together…

Inui: Probability of this moment being engraved in the memories of us members of Seigaku: 100%…

Inui: Actually, I don’t even think I can make calculations on this.

Kikumaru: It kinda feels like we really made it to the top! Just a teeensy bit like that excitement we felt when we won the championship, y’know?

Tezuka: …Yes, you’re not wrong.

Fuji: Yeah. Maybe when the next generation wins, they could hike up this mountain and take in this view again.

Tezuka: That is, if those three still share that sentiment.

Oishi: Haha, we’ll see. Kaidoh, Momoshiro and Echizen… will they even remember this?

Kikumaru: Well, we’ll all be gone by then. Who knows what’ll happen?

Tezuka: Our team this year is mostly comprised of third years. As is inevitable at any school…

Tezuka: It will be important for us to discern if any of the second and first years have developed over the course of the year, and if they will continue to do so.

Fuji: How Seigaku will turn out after we’re gone… I don’t even wanna think about it yet.

Kawamura: But I’m pretty sure we’re almost at the time where we’re gonna have to.

Inui: I’ve been keeping a fair amount of data on the first and second years. However… the probability that there are those who will show remarkable growth is infinite.

Tezuka: There was a time when we were set aside as well. And from then on, Seigaku continued to forge itself and was able to stand at the top of the nation.

Tezuka: To ensure that it wasn’t merely a one-time twist of fate, we must leave behind a variety of tools for our underclassmen to use in the future.

Kikumaru: Exactly. Momo, Kaidoh and Shorty. There’s still gonna be times where they’ll need our help~

Tezuka: I wish for them to continue moving steadily, step by step; with humility and without haste, just as we hiked this mountain today.

Tezuka: I’m sure they will realize this view is what lies ahead.

Kawamura: You’re right… Here’s hoping we can watch over them with peace of mind then.

Kikumaru: Yeah, maybe? Or maybe we’ll get too anxious and wanna help them anyway?

Fuji: Fufu, maybe. I can’t say I wouldn’t do that.

Inui: But, there’s a very good chance that you won’t have to.

Oishi: Right. I believe in them.

Tezuka: …As for us, we hardly have the time to be concerned for others.

Tezuka: To be able to stand tall before our underclassmen, we must keep walking down the path that lies before us.

Tezuka: (Not just for someone else’s sake, but for my own… Perhaps it’s time to leave the future in their hands and walk my own path…)

[Improvement Level 2 - Episode 1]

Tezuka: (…This mountain’s close. But if I were to go from here, just the trip itself would take three hours, and that’s only one way…)

Tezuka: (And even if I went on a day off, I’d probably still end up returning late…)

Shiraishi: See? I told you so.

Tachibana: I see… he really has been reading hiking magazines for a while now.

Tezuka: …? What are you talking about?

Shiraishi: Tezuka-kun, you’ve been reading hiking magazines all the time recently, haven’t you?

Shiraishi: I think you’ve been stressing out since you wanna go hike these mountains but you can’t right now, so I talked to everyone about it.

Tezuka: …What do you mean?

Tachibana: We’re thinking it’d be good to get you another hobby you could do here at the training camp to help put your mind at ease.

Tezuka: …Okay.

Shiraishi: Sooo, I talked with the captains from the other schools, and after much thought and planning, they each came up with their own ideas~!

Tachibana: Right. As for my suggestion… how about you try cooking?

Tezuka: Cooking…

Tachibana: It takes a lot of time, and it’s like a science. But anyone can do it if they follow the steps properly.

Shiraishi: Do you do any cooking, Tezuka-kun?

Tezuka: I’m not sure if I’m good at it or not. I simply do what I can.

Tezuka:* I don’t think I could make something too elaborate… but I can do basic dishes.

Shiraishi: Yeah, that’s fine. Here’s some recipes Tachibana-kun brought, they look pretty simple, right?

Tachibana: They should be. It’s a collection of recipes that are easy for anyone to make and can be done in 15 minutes.

Tezuka: It’s a good collection of recipes for beginners. And they each seem to have a good nutritional balance.

Tezuka: However…

Shiraishi: Hm, is there a problem?

Tezuka: This training camp already provides our nutrition.

Tezuka: So there’s really no reason to make it ourselves…

Shiraishi: Oh, so you’re saying we don’t really need to make a hobby of it here?

Tachibana: …On second thought, you’re probably right.

Tezuka:* Right… But I appreciate your suggestion. I’ll see what I can come up with myself.

[Improvement Level 2 - Episode 2]

Kite: So you’re still here, Tezuka-kun.

Tezuka: Now it’s Kite and Minami.

Minami: Based on your reaction, you already know why we’re here, huh.

Tezuka:* Yes. You’re here to suggest a new hobby for me, right?

Kite: Well, since you’re already aware, this should only take a moment.

Kite: I don’t understand this obsession with mountains in the first place, though.

Minami: You’re from Okinawa, right? So you’re more used to ocean than mountains, aren’t you?

Kite: Naturally. However, Tezuka has been living in Tokyo, so I don’t believe he’d understand that sentiment.

Tezuka: …Yes, you may be right.

Minami: Well, trying to do stuff like hiking or swimming in the ocean isn’t easy while you’re at this training camp…

Kite: Oh, are you saying that I should forget about the ocean as well?

Minami: N-No! I’ve never implied that either of you should forget about the mountains or the ocean.

Minami: And since you’re here too Kite, I think it’ll be nice to show you my hobby as well…

Tezuka: What’s your hobby, Minami?

Minami: Right. It’s relatively cheap when you start, but it gets pretty deep the more you get into it…

Minami: How about stamp collecting?

Tezuka: Stamps… I see. You’ve certainly collected a myriad of them. It may take some time to start a collection.

Minami: Right, right. There’s all these different kinds like the local ones.

Minami: And as you can see, they’re not always shaped like squares.

Kite: You’re right, there appears to be some with very intricate shapes.

Minami: There’s also a lot that are limited edition. And they come in all these colors and designs.

Tezuka: …This is—

Minami: Right, that one with the mountain design. It’s a limited edition stamp that was issued in a city that had a famous mountain nearby… Oh!

Tezuka: …

Minami: Uhhhh, Tezuka…?

Tezuka: …

Kite: He can’t even hear you. He’s that engrossed with mountains.

Minami: Ahaha… What can I say, I guess this had the opposite effect… Sorry about that…

[Improvement Level 2 - Episode 3]

Tezuka: …Atobe, what is this?

Atobe: As you can see, it’s tea time. You too, may get drunk on my special tea.

Tezuka: No, I don’t think you can get drunk from tea.

Yukimura: Fufu, how interesting. It’s a lot more entertaining with someone serious in the mix.

Atobe: Tch… Anyway, how’s the taste?

Tezuka:* It’s very good. Also… the water’s good too, isn’t it?

Atobe: Heh, how keen of you. This was made with a special mineral water extracted from the foot of a popular mountain.

Atobe: The tea leaves that are paired with it were specially ordered, and even the steeping was timed to perfection.

Atobe: If you made it a hobby to brew tea with this much attention to detail, you’d forget all about the mountains…

Tezuka: …Mineral water, huh.

Atobe: Hm?

Tezuka: Mineral water does contain high mineral content. Although it is drawn from groundwater, it can only be called mineral water on the condition that it contains dissolved minerals.

Tezuka:* Judging from the taste, I’d say the mineral water you used is excellent in quality…

Atobe: …Why the hell is he paying more attention to the water than the tea, seriously.

Yukimura: I guess he’s just always interested in things related to mountains. Looks like this hobby isn’t gonna do it for him.

Atobe: …

Yukimura: In any case… Tezuka.

Tezuka: What is it?

Yukimura: Let’s play some tennis. Come to the courts.

—

Yukimura: Let’s go… hah!

Tezuka: A nice course… but weak!

Yukimura: Fufu, same to you. Come on, don’t hold back!

Tezuka: All right then, I’ll give it my all!

—

Shiraishi: Well, in the end, it looks like the thing that gets him going the most is tennis.

Kite: So those cheap attempts were unnecessary then.

Minami: Well, we can’t really speak for others, but I guess in the end, tennis is our favorite hobby.

Tachibana: Right… I’ll ask them to let me join in a bit.

Shiraishi: Haha… I get you. Let’s all do it since we’re here!

[Improvement Level 3 - Episode 1]

Tezuka: What are you reading, Oishi?

Oishi: Oh, Tezuka. It’s this magazine.

Tezuka: Aquariums… they’re quite beautiful.

Oishi: Right? An aquarium is like creating a world of your imagination inside a fish tank.

Oishi: It’s interesting to see people create all these different atmospheres in them.

Tezuka:* I see… each tank truly does have its own atmosphere. I especially like when they add ruins or sunken ships.

Oishi: Totally. I feel like the ones that include buildings are the best at representing the person’s outlook.

Tezuka: If you were to make one, what would it look like?

Oishi: Me? Well, let’s see… I think I’d like to try doing it with freshwater fish first.

Oishi: I know it’s generic, but probably goldfish. There’s actually a pretty big variety of them, so I think they’d be cool to watch.

Oishi: And then I could add some Japanese-style monuments to build the atmosphere.

Tezuka:* Yes, goldfish… a lot of them are unique in size and shape.

Tezuka:* They come in many colors too, like red, black and gold. I’m sure you’d enjoy doing that.

Oishi: Yeah. A lot of people like goldfish, and I can see why.

Hirakoba: What’s that? You guys like fish, too?

Tezuka: …Oishi does. But are you interested in them, too?

Hirakoba: I like fishing more than I do fish.

Tezuka:* Fishing, I see.

Hirakoba: Especially spearfishing, it’s a lot of fun.

Tezuka:* I haven’t tried spearfishing, yet…

Hirakoba: There’s tricks to it, but once you figure it out, you’ll catch more than you think.

Hirakoba: You should try it, Tezuka. I think you’d be really good at it.

Oishi: I agree, you’re usually good at things that require deep concentration.

Tezuka:* Hm… okay. I’ll give it a try when I get the chance.

[Improvement Level 3 - Episode 2]

Irie: It’s true that most tenor sax music is jazz, but it’s also featured in many famous classical pieces as well.

Choutarou: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I really like the saxophone in Carmen: Intermezzo.

Irie: Ah, yes, that one. I’m more of a fan of Air on the G String.

Tezuka: …

Irie: Oh, Tezuka-kun. What’s with that curious look on your face?

Tezuka: …I’m sorry. It’s just unusual to see you two interacting.

Choutarou: Yeah, that is a good point. But believe it or not, we discovered we have something in common.

Irie: It turns out that we both play instruments. I play the tenor saxophone, and he plays the piano and violin.

Tezuka:* Right, and you’re into classical music…

Irie: So you knew the titles we mentioned. You like it too, Tezuka-kun?

Tezuka: Yes, I do. I listen to a lot of classical music. I especially like Beethoven.

Choutarou: Oh, Beethoven’s good too. I play his songs a lot on the piano. Like “Moonlight Sonata.”

Irie: You’ve been reading foreign books lately, haven’t you Tezuka-kun?

Irie: Wouldn’t it be a good idea to listen to music while doing so?

Tezuka:* Yes, I do from time to time. Listening to music does help me concentrate better.

Choutarou: If I remember correctly: you can speak German right, Tezuka-san? Do you like any pieces by other German musicians?

Choutarou: He’s pretty famous, but I like Bach. I also like Pachelbel.

Irie: Yeah, they’re good. I like Beethoven too, but I also recommend Wagner and Mendelssohn.

Tezuka:* Sounds good. I’ve always been biased towards Beethoven, but I’ll give those composers’ songs a listen as well.

Irie: Oh, there’s actually a song I can put on for you right now. Give it a listen and see if it’s to your liking.

Irie: Mendelssohn’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” is the name…

~♪~♪

Tezuka:* …It’s a good song. The harmony of the wind instruments and the delicate overlapping of the strings draw you in.

Yagyuu: Oh? Is that Mendelssohn?

Tezuka: …Yagyuu. You know about it?

Yagyuu: I often listen to classical music when I wake up in the morning. Mendelssohn is one that I listen to a lot.

Yagyuu: Hearing those overlapping sounds makes me feel a bit more dignified.

Tezuka:* I think I understand that feeling. I feel more composed when I listen to Beethoven’s music, too.

Irie: For you though, Tezuka-kun, I’m pretty sure you can be composed with or without music.

Choutarou: But even so, I never knew there were so many classical music lovers around me. I’d like to know more of your favorite songs!

Irie: Fufu, how about we discuss classical music on a regular basis then?

Yagyuu: That sounds great, I’d love to be a part of it.

Tezuka:* I as well.

[Improvement Level 3 - Episode 3]

Momoshiro: Oh, there’s a camping special on the TV!

Kawamura: Camping equipment seems to be really evolving these days.

Tezuka: Right. Especially tents nowadays always have that nice trinity of being lightweight, durable and easy to pitch.

Momoshiro: Wow~, really?

Tezuka: Technology is evolving everyday. And the same can also be said for camping equipment…

Tezuka:* But even so, if you go to the mountains, you will still have to find ways to spend your time without electricity or running water. That still hasn’t changed.

Kawamura: Because some tools that are considered useful can become useless once you’re in nature. The whole point is if you can enjoy that.

Tezuka:* It’s something to be enjoyed, and it’s also something that can train you… It’s really interesting when you think about it.

Tezuka:* (It’s not something I can do at the moment, but once I have the time again, it would be nice to go climbing and camping on top of a mountain.)

Momoshiro: I’m also really into glamping!

Tezuka: …Right. I view it more as like having a hotel in the middle of nature. But…

Tezuka: I don’t think it’s bad in terms of being able to enjoy nature more easily.

Kawamura: Well, different strokes for different folks, but I think it’s cool too.

—

Amane: …Oh, Bane-san. Take a look. They’ve got a camping special on.

Kurobane: Hm? Oh, you’re right.

Kurobane: But all they’re showing is mountain camping… they’re not gonna show any beach camping?

Amane: Camping’s always associated with the mountains for some reason. Even though the beach is cool too…

—

Tezuka: Beach camping…

Kawamura: Oh, yeah. I think it’d also be really cool to pitch a tent on the beach and do stuff there.

Tezuka: …Just walking in the sand on a beach is a good workout.

Tezuka: And it has the advantage of being easier to go to than finding a place on a mountain.

Tezuka: Camping is about engaging with yourself… the beach seems like a good place to be able to do that more conveniently.

Kawamura: Haha… camping still boils down to training for you huh, Tezuka.

Momoshiro: But either way, the mountains or the beach would be fun!

Tezuka:* Right. Let’s plan on it in the future.

[Improvement Level 4 - Episode 1]

Tezuka: …

Hiyoshi: Oh, Tezuka-san… Nice work today. Did you just step out?

Tezuka: Yes. There’s no one in there now. It should be okay to use.

Choutarou: Thank you very much… Huh?

Tezuka: …? What is it?

Choutarou: Your hair’s still wet, don’t you want to dry it?

Tezuka: Well, I usually just let it dry on its own.

Hiyoshi: Is that so. Well, that’s surprising…

Choutarou: With you being so diligent, I thought you’d dry your hair properly.

Kabaji: …Right.

Tezuka: Hair dries regardless. So I don’t see the point in taking the time to blow dry it.

Tezuka: There’s a multitude of other things you could be doing in that time.

Hiyoshi: Yeah, that makes sense… being “super efficient” or whatever.

Choutarou: But I’m jealous of how good your hair always ends up looking.

Tezuka: Oh… really?

Choutarou: Usually when people let their hair air dry, it ends up looking messy or tousled.

Tezuka: …Yes, that is true.

Tezuka: But I don’t sleep while it’s wet. So that solves that problem.

Hiyoshi: So you’re aware of that at least.

Kabaji: …Of course.

Tezuka:* Well, I’d better get going. Be sure to rest well.

Choutarou: Oh, right. Thank you very much.

Hiyoshi: That was unexpected, but oddly satisfying.

Choutarou: Yeah. We got to know a little more about Tezuka-san.

Kabaji: Right.

[Improvement Level 4 - Episode 2]

Tezuka: It looks like we’ll have tomorrow off. Everyone will be free to spend their time as they wish.

Marui: Ah, really? I dunno what I’ll do~!

Kirihara: I’m gonna play some more of my video game. I’m halfway through it but I’m stuck at this one part.

Marui: Oh, video games, huh. That does sound fun, but I think I’ll go shopping.

Sanada: It’s good to take a break, but don’t become too lax.

Marui: Yeah, yeah, we got it.

Kirihara: Well, what do you guys plan on doing, Vice Captain, Tezuka-san?

Tezuka: Voluntary training.

Sanada: Same here.

Marui: …Well, we could’ve guessed that.

Kirihara: Huh, what about something other than that!? Like what you’d do on an actual day off!

Tezuka: …I don’t really have what people consider “days off.”

Marui: Wow, classic Tezuka.

Kirihara: But don’t you have times where you go out and do something!?

Tezuka: Well… I spend more time reading books than I do going out.

Tezuka:* And I often talk about fishing with my grandfather as well.

Sanada: I see, fishing. The perfect thing for mental training.

Tezuka:* Right. It’s very interesting trying to strategize how to catch the fish, it also sharpens one’s nerves.

Sanada: Strategize… do you mean lure fishing?

Tezuka:* …Yes. I had actually caught a lot of fish using a lure I received as a birthday gift.

Sanada: Oh, what kind of lure?

Tezuka: I have a photo… Here.

Marui: Wha…

Kirihara: That’s…

Marui: Oishi’s face!?

Tezuka: Yes. He had made it himself.

Marui: Buhahahahahaha! Seriously!? That’s actually genius of him to make that!

Kirihara: Hyahahahahaha!! Ah, my stomach!!

Sanada: Hm… it’s well crafted. The resemblance is rather nice. I like it.

Tezuka: Right. I still treasure it. But whenever a fish bites it… I…

Kirihara: Please stop…! I don’t think I can laugh anymore!

Marui: Jeez, how can you guys talk about it with straight faces…?

[Improvement Level 4 - Episode 3]

Kintarou: Oh, it’s Mister Tezuka! Heyy!

Tezuka: …Tooyama.

Shiraishi: Hey, Kin-chan, pipe down. Sorry, Tezuka-kun.

Tezuka: No, it’s fine.

Kintarou: Oh, it looks like you’re eating eel! Is that unadon?

Tezuka: It’s unacha. It’s basically chazuke with eel.

Kintarou: Wow, so you actually wanted to eat chazuke.

Chitose: If it’s eel, then Gin would be a fan too.

Ishida: I would. But I’m having unajyu today.

Tezuka: I get it. The eel today is especially nice and fatty.

Ishida: Oh, I’m excited then. The burnt ends look irresistible.

Tezuka:* It was impressive how meticulous the chefs were when they cooked it.

Tezuka: This first bowl is a combination of the eel and white rice, and the second one is the dashi you pour over it, which changes its aroma.

Ishida: I see, so that’s how it works.

Tezuka: And another nice thing about it is you can change the flavor by adding condiments.

Tezuka: You can add various condiments such as seaweed, wasabi, or momiji oroshi.

Ishida: Really. I’ve never had unacha before, but now that you’ve explained it, Tezuka-han, I’d like to give it a try.

Tezuka:* You should, I think you’d enjoy it.

Kintarou: …Hey hey, Chitose, Shiraishi. Gin and Mister Tezuka are having a good time, right?

Shiraishi: Yeah, I’d say so.

Chitose: The two of them don’t change their expressions, so I’d see why you’d be confused, Kin-chan.

Kintarou: Oh, yeah? I dunno why, but now I’m in the mood to eat eel!

Shiraishi: Haha, I get you, Kin-chan. How about we all have eel for dinner?

Chitose: Yeah.

[Improvement Level 5 - Episode 1]

Tezuka: The benefits of increasing endurance and how to train for it…

Tezuka:* Not that I wasn’t aware of it before, but it would be useful in many aspects if I studied it in detail again…

Kite: Agreed. It is an area where you should learn from the experts, rather than taking it upon yourself.

Kite: I felt that today’s lecture was very useful in that sense.

Tezuka: ! Kite…

Kite: You appeared to be deep in thought. Thinking of another training regimen?

Tezuka: Yes. For my whole team.

Tezuka: It’s essential to increase muscular endurance to be able to move your body more efficiently and for longer periods of time.

Tezuka: When it comes to strength training, our focus is usually on whole-body endurance, but they included more training to increase muscular endurance.

Tezuka: But… as of right now, the training for our low-twitch muscles is still lacking. Initially, we had a poor grasp of understanding which muscles had slow-twitch properties.

Kite: Pectoralis major, latissimus dorsi and quadriceps, I believe.

Kite: But I personally thought the training we’re doing is quite sufficient.

Tezuka: I feel that we need to adjust the intervals a bit more.

Tezuka: Plus, if pushing yourself to the limit can help build muscle strength, then I think it’d be good to add in another set.

Tezuka: But since I want us to do as many basic workouts as possible, I’ll also have to adjust which ones we do.

Kite: You do make a good point though, it’s not just a matter of building up your muscles.

Kite: But you may not see much of an effect if it’s only basic workouts.

Tezuka: …That’s true.

Kite: Especially since they seem to be doing fine with their current training regimen as well.

Tezuka: So you’re saying I shouldn’t be so lenient?

Kite: That’s right. Trying to be lenient now would have the opposite effect.

Kite: Well, no matter what you do, nothing can match the Spartan-level training we did over at Higa. There’s nothing we aren’t capable of.

Tezuka: …Higa’s done that kind of rigorous training? Now I’m curious.

Tezuka: Would you mind sharing what workouts you did for that?

Kite: I don’t mind, but I’m not sure if it would help in your case.

Kite: …Here.

Tezuka: Yes… I see. I think it’s within the realm of what some of us can handle…

Kite: I would also advise you to take into account the extent and development of your physiques. It will be different for Seigaku.

Tezuka: Yes, of course…

Tezuka: Physiques, huh. That’s also an area I’ve not delved in. I should also take that into consideration with this new regimen.

Kite: You’re very straightforward… Well, I suppose I should say that is typical of you. At the very least, good luck.

[Improvement Level 5 - Episode 2]

Tezuka: Sanada, I’m going to use the machine next to yours.

Sanada: Mm… Tezuka. Yes, that’s fine.

Tezuka: How long have you been running?

Sanada: I’ve only just started. It hasn’t even been five minutes.

Tezuka: All right.

Sanada: By the way, Tezuka. How is your grandfather faring?

Tezuka: Oh, he’s the same as always. Still working hard to improve his shogi skills.

Sanada: Heh… I see. My grandfather is the same, too.

Sanada: He’s still upset with your grandfather over that time he postponed their game due to him going fishing with his grandson.

Tezuka: …I apologize for that. But I was able to try out a lure I had never used before. For that, I’m grateful.

Sanada: Well, that’s fine… You probably needed some time to unwind too.

Machine: “Now at: 20 kilometers per hour.”

Sanada: But while you’re taking your time to relax, we’re still out here training hard. Keep that in mind.

Tezuka: It’s the same for us. Seigaku will win the Nationals next time, too.

Sanada: We won’t let that happen. Rikkai’s third consecutive victory was taken from us, but we will reclaim it next time.

Machine: “Now at: 30 kilometers per hour.”

Tezuka: I can count on my underclassmen at Seigaku. I intend to convey to them all that I can before I graduate, so that they may succeed me.

Sanada: Rikkai has many talented players. We have first and second years who are already prepared for their roles… So that means Rikkai will win next time.

Machine: “Now at: 40 kilometers per hour.”

Tezuka: My teammates were chosen to participate in this national training camp this year, and some are beginning to show abilities that surpass even the high schoolers.

Sanada: It’s the same with Rikkai. Our growth rate is even faster.

Machine: “Caution, now at: 50 kilometers per hour.”

Tezuka: Seigaku will win the Nationals!

Sanada: It will be Rikkai who wins next time!

Machine: “Now at: 60 kilometers per hour. Abnormal speed detected. Performing emergency shutdown.”

Tezuka: Ah…

Sanada: Huff… huff… huff… huff… I suppose I went a little overboard… *sigh*

Tezuka: Your treadmill stopped working… you caused an error…

Sanada: …I’ll go apologize to the staff.

Tezuka: Right…

[Improvement Level 5 - Episode 3]

Tezuka: Hah!!

Atobe: How weak!

Tezuka: You think that course is good enough!?

Atobe: Huhh? Watch who you’re talking to!

Tezuka: There’s still a ways to go!!

—

Tezuka: …It’s been thirty minutes. Let’s take a break, Atobe.

Atobe: I guess it is about that time… Fine, break time.

Tezuka: It looks like they’re practicing on their own on the other courts as well.

Atobe: Heh, of course. There’s no time to rest if you wish to become stronger.

Tezuka: …I’m certain my underclassmen don’t even think about taking breaks.

Atobe: Huhh? That’s what I should be saying. The winner will be Hyotei. That’s the fact of the matter.

Tezuka: It was Seigaku who prevailed during that Red vs. White Competition.

Atobe: Huh?

Tezuka: The only red balloons that remained were members of Seigaku.

Atobe: …Hiyoshi boldly challenges me, the captain of the club. Do any of your underclassmen at Seigaku have that kind of backbone?

Tezuka: I’m always taking up challenges from my underclassmen. What happened during the Red vs. White competition was no different from any other occasion.

Tezuka:* Besides, Kaidoh is actively working to become captain.

Atobe: Hmph… you can’t judge who’s superior in that area.

Tezuka: True. There’s always room for improvement.

Atobe: Right. They’re also working to overcome their weaknesses. If they keep this up, then next year should be promising.

Atobe: Hyotei will win, though.

Tezuka: Seigaku will win.

Tezuka: …No matter the victor, let’s not let our guards down, so that we may leave a legacy behind for them thereafter.

Atobe: Huhh? Who do you think you’re talking to. Spare me the reminders, I’m well aware.

—

Hiyoshi: Captain Atobe. If you’re just gonna sit here and chat, then how about you have a round with me.

Kaidoh: Captain Tezuka, if you don’t mind, I’d also like to…

Atobe: Heh… and here’s the cheeky underclassman himself. Fine, I’ll go all out with you.

Tezuka:* All out, huh.

Atobe: Did you say something, Tezuka?

Tezuka: No, it’s nothing. Kaidoh, I’ll go all out as well. Are you prepared?

Kaidoh: Yes! I look forward to it!

[Improvement Level 6 - Episode 1]

Tezuka: (I’m done with my early morning run. So now…)

Tezuka: (I’m just in time for my English lesson. I’ll take a break and listen to it here.)

—

Kaidoh: Fshhhh… Finished today’s running. Next is… Hm?

Kaidoh: (It’s Captain Tezuka. But… is he listening to something? And it looks like he’s meditating and feeling the breeze?)

Kaidoh: (Maybe I should wait until after he’s done to say hello… maybe. But, I…)

Fuji: Huh, what’s up Kaidoh?

Kaidoh: ! Fuji-senpai. It’s…

Fuji: Hm? …Oh, it’s Tezuka. Looks like he’s doing his usual routine.

Kaidoh: Routine?

Fuji: English lesson broadcasts. He likes to listen to them in the morning.

Fuji: I think learning by ear is more efficient, don’t you?

Kaidoh: English lessons… Wait, he studies this early in the morning?

Tezuka: …Fuji, and Kaidoh. You’re here too.

Fuji: Yeah, I just happened to pass by. Good morning, Tezuka.

Kaidoh: Good morning, Captain Tezuka.

Tezuka: Yes, good morning.

Fuji: Kaidoh was nervous about calling out to you. The usual English lessons?

Tezuka: What I’m listening to right now? Yes, it is.

Tezuka: I use my cool down time to also learn English. Killing two birds with one stone, right?

Kaidoh: Yeah, that’s true…

Tezuka: If you want to play tennis professionally, then it’s better to know how to speak English.

Tezuka: And it’s also best to learn these things little by little as soon as you can.

Tezuka:* Not to mention, it’ll save you a lot of trouble down the line.

Kaidoh: …Of course. As expected of you, Captain Tezuka. You never miss a beat when it comes to training or studying…

Fuji: Very typical of you, Tezuka. And it’s not just English, you study German too.

Kaidoh: …I think I’ll listen to radio lessons, too.

Tezuka: You can learn anywhere. By taking advantage of this, you will be able to study and train at the same time.

Tezuka: But as with everything, don’t let your guards down.

Kaidoh: Right!

[Improvement Level 6 - Episode 2]

Tezuka: Echizen, that right shot was weak! That speed won’t cut it!

Ryoma: Got it!

Tezuka: Yes, like that! Let’s raise the bar now!

Ryoma: Okay, I’m not gonna lose though!

Tezuka: Hah!!

—

Kikumaru: Whoa-ho, those shots are incredible! It’s almost like an actual match, isn’t it?

Inui: The duration of their stroke practice has already exceeded one hour… but both still seem to have a lot of fight in them.

Kikumaru: It’s normal for Tezuka, but Shorty’s gotten a lot more stamina too.

Inui: Right. It is quite a feat to be able to keep rallying for this long…

Inui: But I would say it’s about time they take a break.

Kikumaru: Right. Heyy, Tezuka! Shorty! It’s time for a break~!!

Tezuka: …So it’s that time already.

Ryoma: Huh, Kikumaru-senpai and Inui-senpai, when did you guys get here.

Kikumaru: Ahaha, you’ve only been paying attention to Tezuka, huh, Shorty. Here, have a drink!

Ryoma: Thanks.

Inui: You too, Tezuka. Here, I didn’t put any Inui Juice in it, so don’t hesitate to drink it.

Tezuka: Thank you.

Kikumaru: Oh, come to think of it, the pairs here were on the same teams during the Red vs. White competition. Me and Shorty, Tezuka and Inui.

Inui: Yes, that is true. As for me though, I wasn’t able to participate in it for very long.

Ryoma: …Captain Tezuka was really going toe-to-toe with those eagles.

Kikumaru: What’s this, now? You feelin’ upset over it, Shorty?

Ryoma: No, I don’t really care, but… we were basically fighting for our lives when we did it on the cliffs.

Kikumaru: Oh, so you are upset!

Tezuka: …But we were able to assess the situation beforehand due to your prior experience.

Tezuka: Without your information, it would’ve been a lot more of a struggle. So thank you, Echizen.

Ryoma: …That doesn’t make me feel any better.

Kikumaru: Yeah, I feel the same way~

Kikumaru: But y’know what, Shorty. Next time we face off, we’ll blow ‘em right outta the water!

Ryoma: Wha… don’t pat my head.

Inui: However, I have gathered more data from it. And the probability that we would win next time: 100%.

Tezuka: Naturally. If it’s a match, then victory is certain for me. I can’t lose to any of you yet.

Ryoma: …‘Kay, then I’ll just have to gain more experience by playing against stronger opponents.

Ryoma: So, Captain Tezuka, let’s keep practicing.

Tezuka: …Very well. We’ll pick up the pace even more now. Let’s go, Echizen!

[Improvement Level 6 - Episode 3]

Tezuka: (German traditions… culture… and modern customs… Travel guides would be useful, too.)

Tezuka:* (I’ll borrow some books covering that area next time. Next is—)

Byoudouin: You seem pretty eager.

Tezuka: …It’s you.

Byoudouin: German culture, huh. So I take it you’re already preparing to leave Japan?

Tezuka: Well… There’s nothing wrong with simply wanting the knowledge.

Byoudouin: Hmph… Looking ahead to the future, then. That’s not a bad idea, either.

Ryoga: Oh-ho, what do we have here. Two guys who are both as serious as they come. And here I was hoping I could kick back and relax~

Ryoga: Gonna be hard to do that with you guys around~

Byoudouin: You shouldn’t laze around to begin with.

Ryoga: Haha, that’s true. So, you’re studying, middle schooler?

Tezuka: Yes. I thought I’d expand my insight a bit.

Ryoga: Hmm, reading books, huh…

Tezuka: …What is it?

Ryoga: Wellll… with books, you’re just looking at things through another person’s perspective, right? But what does that tell you?

Ryoga: You won’t understand the world if you just read something written from a single, narrow point-of-view.

Byoudouin: It’s rare for you to say something substantial.

Byoudouin: But in the end, it’s not knowledge that counts, but experience.

Byoudouin: There are things you can only gain by seeing and experiencing the vast world with your own eyes.

Ryoga: Plus, it’s actually a lot of fun. Experience is the best teacher, y’know?

Tezuka: …I see.

Ryoga: But it is interesting to read about it, I’ll admit. I recommend these books.

Tezuka: …Manga?

Ryoga: Manga’s good too, isn’t it? It’s fictional Germany! And it’s still realistic too to an extent.

Tezuka:* That’s one way to look at it…

Tezuka: (He does have a point, it may be interesting to compare the differences between knowledge, reality, and fiction.)

Tezuka: (But most importantly, your own experiences will speak for themselves… I must keep that in mind.)

Ryoga: Hahah! Now he’s back to looking so goddamn serious.

Tezuka: Thank you very much for your advice.

Ryoga: …So strait-laced.

Byoudouin: Hmph, well, it’s fine. Remember to stay vigilant.

Tezuka: Right.

#tenirabi #tenigo #tenipuri #my post

10 notes · View notes

lairofdragonagelore · 2 years ago

Text

Murals in DAI: The Death of a Titan

This mural is found in an Unknown Ruin, which location is unknown. We have access to it via a blocked Eluvian in the Deep Roads.

[This post is part of the series “ Murals in DAI ”]

[Index page of Dragon Age Lore]

On the titan’s body, we find a veilfire rune that triggers the codex Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads. I already worked on some interpretations of it in Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara. If we read the codex while observing this image, and assuming that both of them describe the same event, we can conclude that the mural is narrating the codex in “three panels”: The elvhen attack, the death of the Titan, and the “something else”.

The codex, for a quick review:

In the light of the veilfire, the runes seem to shift, coiling and uncoiling like snakes. A thunderous voice shatters the stillness, shouting: "Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!"

For a moment, the scent of blood fills the air, and there is a vivid image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic. Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast. A voice whispers: "What the Evanuris in their greed could unleash would end us all. Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger. The People must rise before their false gods destroy them all."

The attack

According to the codex, the elvhen on the left could be Mythal. Her cape/cloak is made of “green/emerald water” which is usually the description we have of the Fade, which was once the kingdom of the elvhen and spirits. This part of the mural seems to imply “elvhen from the Fade used a god-like power to attack a titan”. I assume the god-like power because the elvhen is casting a circle of gold in her hand, which is a colour that we have seen used a lot to represent god-related iconography and decoration.

We also know that Mythal was different and special from all the rest of the Evanuris. This idea is given to us not only because her statue always is present in all the Temples we visited [included Dirthamen’s], more often than not in a central place or in a place of importance. We also saw that, from all the Evanuris, she is the only one with a divinity halo behind her in the mosaic series [check it in Evanuris]. So, one can assume her power was far over the rest of the Evanuris, so she has a good probability of killing a titan. In any case, this elvhen could represent any Evanuris anyway, but again, I’m also working in relating this mural to the codex.

The Death of a Titan

Then, the next “panel” would be the way in which the Titan was killed

In the centre we can see an undeniable humanoid figure that has been attacked. It’s made of a brown colour, giving the idea of an earthy creature. Its dimensions are so big that it does not fit completely in the sphere. It is the titan. It has an eye drawn on it. This particular kind of eye has been seen in the murals “Self-Portrait” or in the “Removal of the Vallaslin”, which gives us the confirmation this is an eye in the fresco elven style [if we had any doubt].

The body of the creature has been cut in two, across its heart/core. The heart has the asterisk symbol surrounded by a “halo” of gold [or it can also be understood as a Golden Ring]. Once more, we can see that the figure of a golden halo, or gold sphere or gold ring may be implying “Divinity”-like power and control. We also need to remember that in DA lore, divinity has been set as something related to the amount of power that a creature has instead of a particular nature [Solas’s and Morrigan’s words].

Around the golden halo wrapping its heart, we see a fading glow of green. This colour matches the “emerald waters” of the figure on the left, so it’s a colour related to the Fade: this may imply a relationship between the heart of a Titan and the Fade [could this be related to the codex Vir Dirthara: The Deepest Fade, where the skills to reach the deepest Fade are described very titan-dwarvish-like?] The interpretation of the heart needs a whole section apart.

The titan’s head has been removed. The cut in its “neck” seems clean, while the side of the head is “blasted” which may imply that it was affected mentally. Thanks to Cole’s lines along Overlook, Excavated Caves, and Lower Walkways, we know the Titan has been removed of its will, it is sleeping, unable to awake, as the elvhen mined its body and did something with its heart.

The creature is surrounded by blue lines which branch shape represents lyrium veins. All are drawn in a radial way, with its heart as the central origin of all these extensions: we are seeing the Titan’s circulatory system.

The colour of this sphere where the Titan is trapped is coloured in red. On the bottom we see a bit of orange, giving the idea of fire. This is the “fire sphere” that the codex speaks about. So the fire sphere is about something done to a titan, that angered it, and produced something terrible that had to be hidden later and avoid “its wake”.

Titan’s Heart

The interpretation of the heart of a Titan and the elvhen orbs is very complex and vague. It requires some lore details first that seem to be unrelated:

The Elvhen Orbs

The Elvhen orbs have been shown in these murals represented by the asterisk symbol. This symbol has also appeared in the ground yellow mosaic, in the centre of what seems to be related to a sun surrounded by four eluvians/Mythal dragon shaped Gates:

It’s the same asterisk made of eight “rays”.

Tevinter co-opted [or maybe were taught?] about these orbs before the time of the magisterium and the Old Gods. The Tevinter orbs, called somnaborium, are translated as “vessels of dreams”.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it's of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask? Dorian: There are paintings in the Magisterium's archives of men holding similar orbs. They were depictions of a time long before the magisters. The ancient Dreamers, perhaps. The texts called those orbs "somnaborium"--"vessels of dreams." Could they be the same thing? Solas: Perhaps. The humans of ancient times took much from the elves. Dorian: And Corypheus isn't far removed from the time. Hmm.

These Tevinters that Dorian refers to may be the same ones related to the Astrariums. They seemed to have had a deeper relationship with Elvhenan culture. They also had interest in the constellations and the astronomy of Thedas in general, which originally had a lot more of elvhenan representation. This brings a lot of unanswered questions about this particular ancient group of Tevinters and the posterior Magisters Sidereal [title related to celestial bodies and constellations].

The “vessels of dreams” can easily be interpreted as “vessels of Fade energy”, the same energy we saw in the codex Raising the Sonallium, which allowed the creation of worlds. Now, this brings a question: is this energy infinite? What’s its source? Is it merely Fade? If the elvhenan created worlds from it, is this not an energy that seems to have “shaper/titan” properties? In codices like Attentive Listeners or Homecoming, we see that the main power of the elvhen is to bend what already exists, not to create.

I always questioned the real reason why the architects are fighting in Raising the Sonallium. I think it may be related to some unethical procedure in the creation of the world, or a question about the use of the energy of the Fade for this kind of useless creations. We know it cannot be about an aesthetic colour choice.

Sadly, there are no many other sources to explore this train of thoughts, but certainly the idea that the Fade energy may be provided by the Titans themselves would have terrible in-lore consequences if it’s true: it would mean that the elvhenan kingdom was just the typical story of the created creature taking the power of their creators, rebelling against them, and abusing of the original power.

Anyways, continuing with the orbs: through the analysis of Fen’Harel’s orb, we know that the main function of these orbs is to accumulate Fade energy, which is used to the creation of worlds. Solas tells us at the end of Trespasser that he slumbered during a millennia while his orb kept accumulating energy that would allow him to destroy the Veil again.

We don’t know the origin and construction of these orbs, but we know there were many during the time of the Evanuris. In the Shattered Library we even find several of them, empty, spread at the borders of the Lower Archives. Why are they not accumulating energy? What process has been broken that the accumulation function has stopped working in them? These seem to be discharged or useless. Maybe the accumulation of energy needs of someone directing that energy?

These orbs also seem to be used in the procedures of creating pools such as the Well of Sorrow, through which the bound process of the servants of a given Evanuris is executed, according to the mural Removal of the Vallaslin:

So, when we connect the elven orb with the asterisk symbol, the mural of “The Dead of a Titan” can be understood in three different ways:

1) The Creation of the Elvhen Orbs is made out of the Hearts of Titans.

We can think that these orbs are made of “extracted” Titan’s hearts. So, when the Evanuris won the war against the Titans, they took their hearts to create these orbs and the rest of their bodies were mined in order to obtain their lyrium to potentiate magic and to perform vallaslin slavery-rituals.

Pros of this idea

Titans are always spoken in plural, meaning that there were many of them and since some codex speak of “pillars of earth” and some victories over then were attributed to Elgar’nan too [Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory ], it seems that some kind of harvesting may have been possible in order to create several elvhen orbs.

This concept allows the speculation that the red lyrium is Blighted lyrium even though we were hinted in books [The Calling] and in games [Uncharted Abyss] that some parts below the Deep Roads, potentially related to the interior of the Titan, are immune to the Blight and reject the darkspawn: it seems reasonable to think that while the heart exists, the lyrium in the veins is purified through a “circulatory system”, so we can find places likes the Uncharted Abyss where there is no Blight nor darkspawn. But once the heart is removed or dead, and the remaining lyrium gets stationary, the possibility of being blighted does not contradict the apparent immunity to the Blight that places like these seem to have.

Cons of this idea

Size. I bet a titan’s heart is too big to compress it into that small ball that we see in the elvhen’s hands. Note: remember that the heart we saw in the DLC was not a Titan’s, it was a Guardian. Even the wikipedia of Dragon Age has that information wrongly [check The Wellspring].

If we assume Occam’s razor, there is no much sense in thinking a living creature could stay alive without their heart. Besides, there is no lore that states what happens with a titan once their heart is removed. Is it still alive? Is it dead? Is it in permanent sleep? According to Cole, the Titan is still singing and sleeping, which seems to contradict the idea of “removing heart”=��death of a titan”. Two possibilities arise if we assume Cole is the one who holds the truth: Or removing the titan’s heart removes their consciousness but keeps them alive; or the heart was never removed.

The only hint we have of a creature without a heart that still lived is the Tale of the Avvar about Korth the Mountain-Father. But he not only kept alive, he became cruel and violent. This image would fit an “angry titan” too, though. Was this tale shared with the Avvar via the spirits to represent what the Elvhenan did ages ago to a Titan? Hard to say for sure.

2) With the power of the elvhen orbs, the Titans were killed, including their hearts.

This idea brings similar consequences from the point 1. The difference lays that it does not make use of the heart of the Titan, and uses the concept that the Titan is killed in the process.

Pro of this idea

Similar to the previous interpretation. It solves the problem of keeping the size of the heart into consideration as well as a potential “life” after the heart is removed. We assume in this option that the titan is completely killed.

This idea allows the concept of accepting that a titan dead body can be susceptible of being tainted, potentially giving the explanation of the origin of red lyrium as part of the procedure of decay and rotting of a titan’s corpse.

Cons of this idea

This is a good interpretation of the Mural we are seeing, but the cons are similar to the previous one: Cole keeps telling us that the Titans are alive, but in a vegetative state, sleeping, unable to awake because they forgot how to do it. So, the titan doesn’t seem to be dead. This argument is so strong that I would say that the whole idea of the point 2 should be discarded. The Titans are sleeping, stirring with big Fade-related events, and singing. Their minds seem to be trapped, but they are very much alive. We even can bring into this idea the potential interpretation that their minds are trapped inside Redy Lyrium, since Whispers Written in Red Lyrium can be interpreted as the voices of trapped evanuris as well as titans .

Even if we consider this titan in the mural being the only one who has been killed in the history of the elvhenan, it seems a bad assumption because at the end of the codex we know that, whatever the Evanuris made experiments with the titan, it is still alive thanks to the sentence “Let no one wake its anger”, which implies that it is slumbering but alive.

We have a good amount of reasons to assume that these titans were not killed. So, the title of the Mural is a fallacy, but I will keep calling it that way because we are not sure what truly happens with the Titan. The key is in the “something else”-part which we had no idea about.

3) With the power of the Elvhen orbs, the Titans were defeated, stealing their “mind” somehow, siphoning their powers into the orb, while the elvhen mined their vegetative bodies. Maybe they even experimented with the titan’s body.

Both the centre of the titan and the elvhen orb have the same symbol: an asterisk, but the colour of it is different, and the ray hitting the Titan maybe it’s more about a siphoning effect than an strike: the elvhen orbs may have become “vessels of the energy of a Titan’s heart” [this, again, would suggest that “the Fade energy” of the orbs is related to the mind/heart of a Titan, to their “dreaming” ability]. The “attack” of the elvhen may be the “golden ring” around the heart, implying control as the golden ring seems to represent in many the elvhen paintings, removing “heart and mind” [like it happens with the slaved elves]:

The centre of the titan [asterisk symbol] seems to have been accessed through a tunnel that has the same colour that the background around the asterisk. This structure makes me remember the Uthenera chamber found in the Deep Roads in Trespasser: Lower Walkways, we see a long deep well with an intense lyrium-light deep into it, suggesting that the well and the whole chamber is close to the lyrium spring. My speculation is that the Uthenera chamber may keep the Titans sleeping or without will [keeping the effect of the golden ring, maybe?], as Cole explains to Sera in Overlook: “Their [referring to dwarves] ancient shapers [Titans] were mountains drawn of all their wills, walking their memories into valleys of the world". In the Uthenera chamber Cole says: “Songs screaming far away. It wants to wake up but can’t remember how”. The Uthenera chamber may have a role in the process of making the titans “forget how to wake up”, as Cole seems to imply in "They made bodies from the earth, and the earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget."

Once again, Cole repeats that the Elvhen made the Titan forget, and that seems to be a reasonable role for the Uthenera chamber found there, because as I said in other posts, it seems that the Ancient Uthenera had nothing to do with what the Dalish think it is [as usual in the Dalish pattern]. The main reason to suspect this is why would immortal beings go to sleep eternally in the Fade if they were already living in the Fade? It always felt suspicious.

If the Elvhen drew energy from the heart/mind of the titans, who had the power to create worlds and shapes and bodies, the conflict with the Titans may have been more complex than only the shaking effect of the Elvhen cities that we read in Song to Elgar'nan.

Pros of this idea

This hypothesis would explain why the titans were disconnected with their children: the dwarves. The elvhenan made the Titans forget too much, or may have even severed the Titan’s connection to the dwarves as the tranquils are severed from the Fade. If a Mage’s mind is severed with a brand of Lyrium [The Rite of Tranquility], maybe an inverse process may exist where a titan’s mind is severed by branding their mind with some Fade energy [golden ring?].

This interpretation gives sense to most of Cole’s comments: the titans are not dead, but vegetative.

Cons of this idea

This makes the explanation of the red lyrium as tainted lyrium a bit less possible, since they naturally seem to be immune to the Blight. However, we only have one source who claimed that knowledge, which so far seems unreliable: Bianca, who at the same time, got this information form an unknown source [read Emprise du Lion: Suledin keep]

Ironically, when we activate the puzzle in front of this mural, the heart of the titan has to be lighted with Veilfire, so there is an implicit message that the heart of a titan is burnt with Veilfire or fire. Or a titan’s heart/mind is the fuel for the powers of the Fade and Veil. Could this be the origin of the “weakening” stone that the dwarves believe in, where the power of a Titan is consumed by the Elvhenan orbs and this progressive weakening is what causes aberrations such as being susceptible of the Blight and then turn the Titan’s blood into red lyrium? Depleting a titan’s heart causes a progressive corruption? So many questions.

In any case, as we can see, the option 3 seems to be the most reasonable of all. The Titan has not been killed [it can sing and stir as they have been shown to do in repeated occasions], but turned into a vegetative creature that allowed the mining of its body for lyrium extraction and “something else”. However, the option 1 as a consequence of the end of the siphoning effect, as the effect of “what happened when they killed one”, still seems to apply to at least one titan, but not as a general practice executed on all titans. The problem is: if the option 1 is possible, it means that dead titans can still sing “angrily”. It ends up contradicting a lot of logical statements and assumptions done along this section. The only way to “save” this is that the Titans are not killed but weakened, and end up being corrupted without being “dead”.

The “something else”

From the three options proposed above, the only one which provides a “secret” to be considered as a “something else” [while keeping the Titan alive, which is the case since they sing], seems to be the third one. Keeping this option in mind, we can try to interpret the “third panel” of the mural:

Here we find an elvhen holding the orb/sphere with the asterisk symbol, which is not the same one than the titan’s core. The Heart of the Titan is a yellowish sphere with a black asterisk. The sphere held by the right elf is a green sphere with a yellowish asterisk, the same colour than the sphere of the titan’s heart and the ray. This could mean “redirection of the power”, encouraging the idea of the siphoning power.

The fact that these orbs in Tevinter are called “vessels of dreams” makes us also wonder if they don’t drain the consciousness of a Titan [its dreams] as well and trap them inside an orb. And once more, we have to remember that it’s in this place of the mural where we put the Veilfire, giving the idea of “Fade-presence” in the “heart of the Titan”, or a Titan’s heart being burnt/consumed by the Fade powers.

The golden ring around the asterisk symbol in the Titan’s heart, now is seen as a halo in the elvhen head, a God was born [in terms of being a creature more powerful than anything else]. So through the heart of a Titan, Divinity is seized. Similar iconography can be seen in Valta’s tarot card

The divine halo melts and falls behind the elvhen, giving the impression that it transforms into a mountain, implying that now the elvhenan control more than the mere Fade with the siphoned power: they can control the Waking World, the world where shape is strong and can create like “titans”.

Hence the image of a range of mountains below. The left side of this elvhen also has some Fade-green colour as a way to show transition or also Fade nature [light blue square].

A second interpretation is that through this power of shaping the world, they may have abused of it, creating new bodies [Cole: "They made bodies from the earth. And the earth was afraid. It fought back. But they made it forget."], changing the shape of creatures, and experimenting with them, as The Horror of Hormak implies. Hence, the perfect halo of divinity is falling apart and becoming the underground of the mountains that had sealed horrors such as The Horror of Hormak. Sealing horrors seems to fit the last part of the codex Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads. Like, “playing to be gods”, creating and shaping, ended up in a horror that “elvhen had to hide below collapsed caverns”.

The “something else”, then, can be related to the experiments and the abuse [The Horror of Hormak] that the elvhenan may have done by using the powers siphoned from a titan’s heart/core.

Extra details

The background of the mural shows elongated inverted triangles, suggesting a world where Waking World and Fade were mixed, which is correct; by this time the Veil has not been created yet. They are painted in gold.

Neither the mural nor the codex said what exactly went wrong in this process, but something did it as the whisper in the codex says that they should not wake “its” anger [the “it” treatment seems to mean the Titan as usual] and suggests the people to raise against the Evanuris [I personally think this whisper is Solas’].

The dev’s notes say that this mural was drawn by Solas, in a determinant point in which he decided to stop the Evanuris, but making sure nobody learnt again what they were doing [probably to avoid temptation]. These notes seem to confirm that the whisper in the codex is Solas’. He is the first voice who speaks about the need to raise and stop the Evanuris.

If we consider Solas’ words as hints of truth, the event shown in this mural should be part or be linked to Mythal’s death. Why? Because Solas said that the last straw to banish the Evanuris was her death, while here, the Dev’s notes tell us that the reason was this painted event. Solas has a good history of telling truths that need a particular context to be understood exactly in the sense he says them. And I think it’s not by chance that this mine has so many statues of Mythal in big sizes. The death of mythal, the corruption of this titan, and the red lyrium idol seem to be connected one another even though it’s all speculation what we can say about.

According to the codex, this Titan, who is trapped or it’s part of a sphere of fire, was contained with vines. The detail of the vines immediately reminds me of the Blight, because as we saw in Murals in DAI: Basics and in all previous games’ presentations, the thorny vines were always related to the Blight and Darkspawn. These vines in particular were originally green and enchanted [since later they are described as runes], but after eons they weakened. Maybe the codex shows in this image the origin of the Blight as a degradation, or rotting process of a sleeping, angry Titan. I can’t help but relate “angry” energy with Red Lyrium, although the Red Lyrium seem to be more related to the Evanuris according the analysis done in The Creation of the Veil. However, nothing is completely said after all.

This sleeping, angry Titan was buried underground according the codex. “Terrible place sealed underground” can also be related to the The Horror of Hormak.

Integral interpretation

The first part of the mural seem to represent an Evanuris attacking a titan. Most likely, it is Mythal, according to the codex Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads. Her power wraps the heart of the Titan with a golden sphere or a golden ring. The golden ring is usually a symbol of control as we saw in some paintings of Nation Art: Elvhen.

We know the Titan’s will has been removed, so it is sleeping, unable to awake, as the elvhen mine its body for lyrium and do “something else” with its heart. If we understand the golden sphere around the core of the Titan as a golden ring, it would support the idea of an alive titan being "zombificated" as we saw the golden ring seem to do on elves. This forced slumbering of the titan may be done via Uthenera-related processes, since we find a chamber that Cole identifies as such, and he assures that these singing elvhen interact with the Titan’s song.

Siphoning the power of a Titan's heart may give the elvhenan powers related to creating worlds and shaping creatures. Abuses such as the ones seen in The Horror of Hormak may have been done with them, justifying the line “something else” said by the inquisitor about the codex/mural.

However, if this siphoning process was continuous and ended up destroying the heart and killing the Titan, there are chances that the circulatory system of the titan, that may have given to it some immunity to infections such as the Blight, stopped working, turning the Titan into a creature of red-lyrium. This may refer to the angry energy of the sphere of fire.

The problem with this hypothesis that seems to offer a reasonable in-lore explanation for the origin of the Red Lyrium, is that it assumes the death of the Titan, which would mean Titans should not be singing and stirring as they do when big Fade-related events happen. So I’m inclined to think in the option where the Titan remains alive but corrupted.

Side note: I’m annoyed that is not clear yet which was created first: the Blight or the Red Lyrium, or if both are the same thing. Clearly both diseases are related to Titans and Evanuris, but the truth is still quite away from our grasp.

#DAI murals #titan #titans #evanuris #red lyrium #High speculation #uthenera #Golden Ring #golden halo #inverted triangles #asterisk symbol #elven orb

46 notes · View notes